Hibbett's Superstore

by MJ Hibbett

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1.
It's a new job that you're starting today And it'll be OK if you'll just bear in mind A few pointers from me Try to find out how the dress code works Don't wear a Hawaiin Shirt and find out the whole company's in mourning For the Director and his daughter Who drowned last week off Oahu In your new job that you're starting today And remember to take a packed lunch In case they eat where they sit and then nip to the pub It won't be good if you collapse across your table In a Hypo-Glycaemic coma In your new job that you're starting today Let's whistle while we work! Before you launch into a monologue too lengthy It's best to test the tone of conversation If all they ever talk about is football and the telly They might not want to hear about your prostate operations And remember not to worry too much Just relax and I'm sure you probably won't mess it up Really badly and have to resign on your first day In your new job that you're starting today That your starting today Good luck starting today Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
2.
Gonna paint a perfect picture Got a brush that's made of stars And a canvas that's fantastic and an easel That'll be uniquely ours I've got a hodful of the future You've got a barrow load of love We're gonna lay the firm foundations of a Building that'll be really really good We're gonna make a great creation Gonna build amazing things You and me, we'll be the architects of our dreams We'll create astounding visions Of a time that's yet to come So after 20 centuries you and me Will know who's already won I'm gonna cook us up some dinner I won't use a recipe I'll be chucking in ingredients I know Will be great for you and me We're gonna make a great creation Gonna build amazing things You and me, we'll be the architects of our dreams Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
3.
Get Together 01:14
Everybody all get together Make the world a little bit better Everybody let's get together now Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
4.
5.
It was in 1725 Falcon and Bouchon First used a perforatated loop to spin their loom Then Thomas Edison devised A phonograph that could transcribe The spoken word onto a cylindrical tube Invented by Pfleumer in 1928 The giant spinning wheel of magnetic tape Which led to the Magnetic Drum Eckert-Mauchly's UNIVAC 1 And many hours loading ZX Spectrum Games Come let us spin spin spin Through data storage history As we sing sing sing The Data Storage Sea Shanty IBM's rotating 350 Hard Disk File In 1952 could hold 5 Megabytes Bubble Memory's spinning bits Lost out to 8 inch floppy disks Which shrunk to three to fit neatly in my A Drive DAT was back to wheels of whirling 4mil tape But come the 80's Compact Discs were all the rage As Pyres of vinyl were all burnt RPM fell to kiloherz Because they worked better when spread with marmalade Come let us spin spin spin Through data storage history As we sing sing sing The Data Storage Sea Shanty But like a wheel that slowly stops rotating Or a satellite which eventually descends The history of moving parts Although it lives on in our hearts Is today at last, coming to an end So come let's bid farewell to punch cards and cassette tapes Adieu HD-DVD and Blue-ray Bye bye to all things that revolve Now Data Storage has evolved Into the SSD, the ******* ***** ***** A new chapter begins In Data Storage History As we sing sing sing The Data Storage Sea Shanty Come let us sing sing sing Of the ******* SSD An end to spinning in The Data Storage Sea Shanty Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
6.
And if I said that you were always on my mind Would you run away? Or would you say you felt the same way? We'll never know, 'cos that was fourteen years ago Still, I guess I miss the misery And now we're older Things have become more straightforward Unrequited love has gone the way of spots And yes I know that they still flare up now and then But still I guess I miss the misery Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
7.
HOO HAR! 01:02
HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! HOO HAR! Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
8.
I've never been superstitious Guess I'm just lucky that way I've always been cold and logical Fingers crossed that's how I'll stay The only facts I'll have are academically proved I wouldn't even take directions unless they've been peer reviewed No I'll rely on reason And be analytical I've never been superstitious Touch wood I never will I'll use scientific method In my pursuit of the truth I've a feeling in my water Richard Dawkins would approve Ask me any question, you'll need to wait for my reply Whilst I conduct a double-blind placebo controlled randomised trial I'll never be superstitious And I hope it's not tempting fate To say I'll always be scientific I guess God just made me that way Oh I've never been superstitious But if I ever change my mind It's only to be expected Cos I'm a Gemini Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
9.
She's the lady on your radio Claire Dickinson Download from Kooba Radio Claire Dickinson
10.
When Do I Start? Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
11.
I come from the fens, although you'd never know it I've got a funny accent but I don't like to show it My friends have got twelve fingers, my sister's got fifteen I come from the fens, where everyone's like me I come from the fens, where no-one has toboggans The landscape is so flat and the gradients are long 'uns We like to live not far above the level of the sea I come from the fens, where everyone's like me I come from the fens, where nothing obscures the sky Hereward the Wake hid here, but no-one quite knows why We like to keep our breeding cycle in the family I come from the fens, where everyone's like me Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
12.
Soup 01:55
I thought "Some Soup" I'll make some soup Some soup for you As you are feeling blue So I went and chopped Onions and got A little stock And poured it in the pot A little cinnamon and some chives Some parsley sage rosemary and thyme Some carrots peppers and a lime A half gallon of wine Three pounds of melon and mango Fifteen full sacks of potato An Easter Egg from years ago And half the contents of Tesco And pretty soon there was no room For any soup So I thought all right, OK I'll throw the whole old lot away And start again with some puree Some garlic, oil and then, hooray I found some baked beans on the shelf Some Olive Oil somewhere else A splash of brandy went down well And the cooking sherry I drank myself Some women, wine whisky and gin Mixed it in with Charlie Chaplin's chin Then Caesar came, he saw, fell in With some champagne and aspirin And pretty soon there was no room For any soup So I drove into the jungle and released it Into the wild Went back inside For one more try With some leak - just a leak - and some oil And a bag of peat and a tree And a trolley full of shoes And baboons with balloons who were looking for their food And a doo-doo-be-doo but that'll never do And pretty soon there was no room For any soup Soup So I went into the kitchen And I found a can of soup Heated it through Brought it to you And you said "Oh I like Soup" I said "I know you do and I like you" And you said "Do you think it needs some salt?" Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
13.
Candida 01:13
14.
Hey Hey 64k 02:13
We bought it to help with your homework We bought it to help with your homework And the household accounts If your Dad ever works it all out Fighting in the playground for The glory of C64 Shouting out in praise of its 16 Colour Sprite Graphics And the One Five Three Zero C2N SHIFT and RUN/STOP, LOAD RETURN Wizball and Uridium Way Of The Exploding Fist Attack Of The Mutant Camels The Bard's Tale and Pitstop and Elite (and your Mother said) We bought it to help with your homework We bought it to help with your homework And the household accounts If your Dad ever works it all out Thumping from the SID The Lost Ninja Trilogy Inspired us to write our own Songs and then our own games with The help of Simon's Basic Armalyte and Creatures 2 Said that we could do it too All you need's a new idea Punk for kids who felt left out Here's three functions now form a software house These bedroom revolutionaries, they called us geeky kids Were learning new technologies that did not yet exist And though we may seem retro when we talk about the past It's good to know where you came from when the future's coming fast And our time is here at last! Hey Hey 64k Got us where we are today Twice as much memory as on Apollo To plot our course into tomorrow Hey Hey 64k Got us where we are today We found our forte's on computers And that's our passport to the future FOR N=0 TO 2 ? "These Are The Days" NEXT N Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
15.
Who are we to say That the Dinosaurs didn't conquer space? They were around on the planet a thousand times As long as the human race Maybe the meteorite destroyed All the evidence that existed Of the civilisation that fled the earth In dinosaur spaceships Is there a dinosaur planet round some distant shining star? Is that where all the dinosaurs are? On a dinosaur planet, in the stars Does a stegosaurus teacher Teach at Diplodocus school Where Velociraptor children Think two brains don't make him cool Do Iguanodons give thumbs up To Tyrannosaurus mates Who need Pterodactyl waitresses To help them reach the food on their plates Is there a dinosaur planet round some distant shining star? Is that where all the dinosaurs are? On a dinosaur planet, in the stars What if dinosaur explorers Made another voyage back In another giant spaceship To check up on their old gaff What would happen if their scans revealed The damaging facts About the mess we'd made of their old place They might be moved to ask How'd you destroy so much of it In such a little time? We'd say it was easy, guv We didn't even have to try Because their dinosaur planet's not some distant shining star The dinosaurs' planet's where we are This is the Dinosaur planet, la de da Now we've got new lizard leaders Since they've taken back the earth The environment's improving Lfe expectancy is worse And we salute our Sauron Overlords They know what they're about They say the world will be much nicer Once they've wiped the humans out Because the dinosaur planet is no distant shining star No, the dinosaur planet's where we are Dinosaur planet, la de da Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
16.
I was watching Eastenders Omnibus When the phone rang which was odd because I was pretty sure I hadn't turned it on I flipped it open but the screen was dark Then a voice from above said Hello Mark This is God come to tell you where you're going wrong You should wear a flower in your hair And dance nude as if nobody else is there I said God, with all possible respect Are you really after Mark Hibbett? He said Sorry, it's Hibbert - forget it about it, yeah? And that's the story of my life People cannot spell my name quite right It's HIBBE double T if you wish to correctly address me It's not essential, but it would be nice Not like the shop selling sporting goods Or a Japanese poet, and I would Rather not see it like Mother Hubbard from Nursery Rhymes Or like Kenny Hibbitt who played for Wolves And managed Walsall or, of course Like the Doctor off The Simpsons, not quite When I first started on the stage I'd lecture Landlords in whose pubs I'd play One time I found to my surprise The poster spelt my surname right It said Simon Hibbett, doors open half past eight And that's the story of my life People cannot spell my name quite right MJ HI double B ETT, to spell it all out correctly It's not vital, but it is polite Frustrated with the dyslexia Applied to my chosen nomme de guerre I went to the crossroads, to strike a deadly deal I said hey Satan, what's the price For getting my name spelt right And he said come here and sit upon my knee He said I think there's been a mistake I'm not Old Nick I'm Nick The Saint I don't burn in the pit of eternity I get slightly scorched in your chimney And everywhere I go I go by Sleigh If that's the story of your life As crosses borne go that one is pretty light who cares if it's I, ER or U Be thankful that your name's being used At all - now get out of my sight Rudolph glowered and Blitzen hissed As he crossed my name off his list And said "Let this be a lesson to you, lad" He took the reins and off they flew I wasn't bothered, for I knew It's Simon Hibbert whose Christmas will be crap Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
17.
18.
I was really quite impressed when you ran down the frets With your eyes tightly closed because it meant you knew the chords And I nearly got undressed when you looked so intense But then I had the misfortune of listening to the words They were a pack of lies There was not a word of truth in the whole bloody song And also it was shit and was a bit too long So I called for the Lyric Police. You never were a blacksmith You've not got five children or a wandering wife You're not a troubador, you're not even poor And you've not been down a mine-shaft in your whole stupid life." Well, you may say it's folklore Or you may claim it's a dying art But you can take your penny whistle, shove it up your arse Because I've called for the Lyric Police And ain't it funny how the folkies who claim to keep it real Are the biggest phonies of them all? And if you ever should encounter them you know who to call Go on and call for the Lyric Police Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
19.
Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Johnny Yeah Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Johnny Yeah Knock three times on his door And say "Are you there?" Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Johnny Yeah Knock three times on his door And say "Are you there?" Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Johnny Yeah Johnny Yeah Johnny Yeah (And The Boy Malloy) Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
20.
Honey honey, you work too hard They don't appreciate you Honey honey, you work too hard It's like you don't know what else you're supposed to do Well, you could stop feeling judged by The workshy Honey honey, you know that you work too hard Honey Honey, you work too late It's like The Marie Celeste Honey Honey, you work too late In the pool of light from the lamp on your desk The useless buggers you work with They're not worth it Honey Honey, you know that you work too late I do not work in the real world I can confirm that's true I only visit the real world When I'm waiting here for you Honey Honey, I love you I love the fact that you care Honey Honey, I love you I love the way you work on when no-one else is there And when the call for last orders is gone I'll still be stood here by the intercom Singing honey honey you know that I love you Honey honey you work too late Honey honey I think you're GRATE Honey honey you work too hard And I love you Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
21.
Faster than a 10 year old in a stolen car Quicker than careers of Reality TV stars With a Russian Optician's Operating Speed And more processing than a Moon that's made of cheese Prepare to your have your mental mind amazed By the Power of Parallel Solid State La la la la la you've got my head in a spin You Data Storage Thing Data Storage Thing Like a super ninja on a bike rode hell for leather Twenty four SSDs strapped together When computing's accredited as a sport this one Will win the gold the silver and, also the bronze Thrusting forward at 2 gigabytes a second Giving other processors clinical depresson La la la la la you've got my head in a spin You Data Storage Thing Data Storage Thing Really fast! It's really fast! Really fast! It's really fast! La la la la la you've got my head in a spin You Data Storage Thing Data Storage Thing Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
22.
Like almost every Thursday lunchtime I was at the comics rack Flipping through Countdown Arena Thinking Yes, I know it's crap But it's got alternate universes Which I'm a sucker for When I heard a voice I thought I knew And looking up I saw Alan Moore! Alan Moore! Standing in the corner of the store Alan Moore! Alan Moore! Standing in the corner of the store Well, the entire shop went silent As everybody realised Our generation's hero Had caught us all buying shite So I quickly made my purchases Then ran out of the door So I could ring my best beloved And say Guess who i just saw! Alan Moore! Alan Moore! Standing in the corner of the store Alan Moore! Alan Moore! Standing in the corner of the store She said "That is amazing" "But are you really sure?" I said he's got a beard and ringed fingers And he's nine foot tall He cruises the imagisphere And wields a warlock's staff With Glycon the sock puppet God And Cthulu singing that It's Alan Moore! Alan Moore! He's standing in the corner of your store Alan Moore! Alan Moore! We command his bibliography's recall Mogo Doesn't Socialise Top Ten, Tom Strong, Supreme Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow? Promethea, The League Watchmen, V and Marvelman Swamp Thing, Halo Jones The double decker brain and Skizz And Captain Britain - oh! Hang on just a minute - suddenly I see It was Alan Moore who sparked my love Of Multiverse theory So I ran back to the shop And grabbed him in a manly hug And said I thank for the years Of comics I've loved, bad and good Or at least that's what I would have done On Earth 1610 But on Earth Prime, I was far too scared And so I just went home So Alan Moore! Alan Moore! Never knew how much I had to thank him for Alan Moore! Alan Moore! I'd hate to think he thought he was ignored Alan Moore! Alan Moore! I wrote this song to thank you, Alan Moore Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
23.
After hours beneath the boughs Of the chestnut tree A man stands hand in hand with nature Working in harmony A drill, a string, a practice swing And he's fully prepared To take part in a tournament That's fought wherever there are Conkers We're bonkers for conkers The finest game that ever has been played Conkers We're bonkers for conkers The great achievement of the human race A steady hand, a wary eye A swing that's bold and true You'll find in time your none-er Will become a one or two-er In order to progress it must Accomplish many feats It will be crowned the champion If no-one else can beat Your conker We're bonkers for conkers Played in the arena or within the home Conkers We're bonkers for conkers The best thing human kind has ever known But please don't bake them That makes you a cheat Nor should you roast them Unless you want to eat Your conkers We're bonkers for conkers We wish it could be autumn every day Conkers We're bonkers for conkers Come get your conkers out and let's all play Conkers Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

about

This rounds up all the MJ Hibbett solo material since "Warriors Of Nanpantan" plus tons of unreleased songs, including a large batch from the unsuccesful Trying To Write Songs For Adverts experiment. You can download it seperately here, or buy it along with "Forest Moon Of Enderby" from our main webpage - click "Buy Disc" for more details.

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released October 18, 2010

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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