Hibbett's Superstore

by MJ Hibbett

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about

This rounds up all the MJ Hibbett solo material since "Warriors Of Nanpantan" plus tons of unreleased songs, including a large batch from the unsuccesful Trying To Write Songs For Adverts experiment. You can download it seperately here, or buy it along with "Forest Moon Of Enderby" from our main webpage - click "Buy Disc" for more details.

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released October 18, 2010

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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Track Name: Good Luck In Your New Job
It's a new job that you're starting today
And it'll be OK if you'll just bear in mind
A few pointers from me

Try to find out how the dress code works
Don't wear a Hawaiin Shirt and find out the whole company's in mourning
For the Director and his daughter
Who drowned last week off Oahu
In your new job that you're starting today

And remember to take a packed lunch
In case they eat where they sit and then nip to the pub
It won't be good if you collapse across your table
In a Hypo-Glycaemic coma
In your new job that you're starting today

Let's whistle while we work!

Before you launch into a monologue too lengthy
It's best to test the tone of conversation
If all they ever talk about is football and the telly
They might not want to hear about your prostate operations

And remember not to worry too much
Just relax and I'm sure you probably won't mess it up
Really badly and have to resign on your first day

In your new job that you're starting today
That your starting today
Good luck starting today


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: The Architects Of Our Dreams
Gonna paint a perfect picture
Got a brush that's made of stars
And a canvas that's fantastic and an easel
That'll be uniquely ours

I've got a hodful of the future
You've got a barrow load of love
We're gonna lay the firm foundations of a
Building that'll be really really good

We're gonna make a great creation
Gonna build amazing things
You and me, we'll be the architects of our dreams

We'll create astounding visions
Of a time that's yet to come
So after 20 centuries you and me
Will know who's already won

I'm gonna cook us up some dinner
I won't use a recipe
I'll be chucking in ingredients I know
Will be great for you and me

We're gonna make a great creation
Gonna build amazing things
You and me, we'll be the architects of our dreams



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Get Together
Everybody all get together
Make the world a little bit better
Everybody let's get together now


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Data Sea Shanty
It was in 1725 Falcon and Bouchon
First used a perforatated loop to spin their loom
Then Thomas Edison devised
A phonograph that could transcribe
The spoken word onto a cylindrical tube

Invented by Pfleumer in 1928
The giant spinning wheel of magnetic tape
Which led to the Magnetic Drum
Eckert-Mauchly's UNIVAC 1
And many hours loading ZX Spectrum Games

Come let us spin spin spin Through data storage history
As we sing sing sing The Data Storage Sea Shanty

IBM's rotating 350 Hard Disk File
In 1952 could hold 5 Megabytes
Bubble Memory's spinning bits
Lost out to 8 inch floppy disks
Which shrunk to three to fit neatly in my A Drive

DAT was back to wheels of whirling 4mil tape
But come the 80's Compact Discs were all the rage
As Pyres of vinyl were all burnt
RPM fell to kiloherz
Because they worked better when spread with marmalade

Come let us spin spin spin Through data storage history
As we sing sing sing The Data Storage Sea Shanty

But like a wheel that slowly stops rotating
Or a satellite which eventually descends
The history of moving parts
Although it lives on in our hearts
Is today at last, coming to an end

So come let's bid farewell to punch cards and cassette tapes
Adieu HD-DVD and Blue-ray
Bye bye to all things that revolve
Now Data Storage has evolved
Into the SSD, the ******* ***** *****

A new chapter begins
In Data Storage History
As we sing sing sing
The Data Storage Sea Shanty

Come let us sing sing sing
Of the ******* SSD
An end to spinning in
The Data Storage Sea Shanty


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Missing The Misery
And if I said that you were always on my mind
Would you run away?
Or would you say you felt the same way?
We'll never know, 'cos that was fourteen years ago
Still, I guess I miss the misery

And now we're older
Things have become more straightforward
Unrequited love has gone the way of spots
And yes I know that they still flare up now and then
But still I guess I miss the misery


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!

HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!
HOO HAR! HOO HAR!



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Never Been Superstitious
I've never been superstitious
Guess I'm just lucky that way
I've always been cold and logical
Fingers crossed that's how I'll stay

The only facts I'll have are academically proved
I wouldn't even take directions unless they've been peer reviewed

No I'll rely on reason
And be analytical
I've never been superstitious
Touch wood I never will

I'll use scientific method
In my pursuit of the truth
I've a feeling in my water
Richard Dawkins would approve

Ask me any question, you'll need to wait for my reply
Whilst I conduct a double-blind placebo controlled randomised trial

I'll never be superstitious
And I hope it's not tempting fate
To say I'll always be scientific
I guess God just made me that way

Oh I've never been superstitious
But if I ever change my mind
It's only to be expected
Cos I'm a Gemini


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: She's The Lady On Your Radio
She's the lady on your radio
Claire Dickinson
Download from Kooba Radio
Claire Dickinson
Track Name: When Do I Start?
When Do I Start?


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: I Come From The Fens
I come from the fens, although you'd never know it
I've got a funny accent but I don't like to show it
My friends have got twelve fingers, my sister's got fifteen
I come from the fens, where everyone's like me

I come from the fens, where no-one has toboggans
The landscape is so flat and the gradients are long 'uns
We like to live not far above the level of the sea
I come from the fens, where everyone's like me

I come from the fens, where nothing obscures the sky
Hereward the Wake hid here, but no-one quite knows why
We like to keep our breeding cycle in the family
I come from the fens, where everyone's like me


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Soup
I thought "Some Soup"
I'll make some soup
Some soup for you
As you are feeling blue

So I went and chopped
Onions and got
A little stock
And poured it in the pot

A little cinnamon and some chives
Some parsley sage rosemary and thyme
Some carrots peppers and a lime
A half gallon of wine
Three pounds of melon and mango
Fifteen full sacks of potato
An Easter Egg from years ago
And half the contents of Tesco

And pretty soon there was no room
For any soup

So I thought all right, OK
I'll throw the whole old lot away
And start again with some puree
Some garlic, oil and then, hooray
I found some baked beans on the shelf
Some Olive Oil somewhere else
A splash of brandy went down well
And the cooking sherry I drank myself
Some women, wine whisky and gin
Mixed it in with Charlie Chaplin's chin
Then Caesar came, he saw, fell in
With some champagne and aspirin

And pretty soon there was no room
For any soup

So I drove into the jungle and released it
Into the wild
Went back inside
For one more try

With some leak - just a leak - and some oil
And a bag of peat and a tree
And a trolley full of shoes
And baboons with balloons who were looking for their food
And a doo-doo-be-doo but that'll never do

And pretty soon there was no room
For any soup

Soup

So I went into the kitchen
And I found a can of soup
Heated it through
Brought it to you
And you said "Oh I like Soup"
I said "I know you do and I like you"
And you said "Do you think it needs some salt?"




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Hey Hey 64k
We bought it to help with your homework
We bought it to help with your homework
And the household accounts
If your Dad ever works it all out

Fighting in the playground for
The glory of C64
Shouting out in praise of its
16 Colour Sprite Graphics
And the One Five Three Zero C2N

SHIFT and RUN/STOP, LOAD RETURN
Wizball and Uridium
Way Of The Exploding Fist
Attack Of The Mutant Camels
The Bard's Tale and Pitstop and Elite (and your Mother said)

We bought it to help with your homework
We bought it to help with your homework
And the household accounts
If your Dad ever works it all out

Thumping from the SID
The Lost Ninja Trilogy
Inspired us to write our own
Songs and then our own games with
The help of Simon's Basic

Armalyte and Creatures 2
Said that we could do it too
All you need's a new idea
Punk for kids who felt left out
Here's three functions now form a software house

These bedroom revolutionaries, they called us geeky kids
Were learning new technologies that did not yet exist
And though we may seem retro when we talk about the past
It's good to know where you came from when the future's coming fast
And our time is here at last!

Hey Hey 64k
Got us where we are today
Twice as much memory as on Apollo
To plot our course into tomorrow

Hey Hey 64k
Got us where we are today
We found our forte's on computers
And that's our passport to the future

FOR N=0 TO 2
? "These Are The Days"
NEXT N


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Dinosaur Planet
Who are we to say
That the Dinosaurs didn't conquer space?
They were around on the planet a thousand times
As long as the human race
Maybe the meteorite destroyed
All the evidence that existed
Of the civilisation that fled the earth
In dinosaur spaceships

Is there a dinosaur planet round some distant shining star?
Is that where all the dinosaurs are?
On a dinosaur planet, in the stars

Does a stegosaurus teacher
Teach at Diplodocus school
Where Velociraptor children
Think two brains don't make him cool
Do Iguanodons give thumbs up
To Tyrannosaurus mates
Who need Pterodactyl waitresses
To help them reach the food on their plates

Is there a dinosaur planet round some distant shining star?
Is that where all the dinosaurs are?
On a dinosaur planet, in the stars

What if dinosaur explorers
Made another voyage back
In another giant spaceship
To check up on their old gaff
What would happen if their scans revealed
The damaging facts
About the mess we'd made of their old place
They might be moved to ask
How'd you destroy so much of it
In such a little time?
We'd say it was easy, guv
We didn't even have to try

Because their dinosaur planet's not some distant shining star
The dinosaurs' planet's where we are
This is the Dinosaur planet, la de da

Now we've got new lizard leaders
Since they've taken back the earth
The environment's improving
Lfe expectancy is worse
And we salute our Sauron Overlords
They know what they're about
They say the world will be much nicer
Once they've wiped the humans out

Because the dinosaur planet is no distant shining star
No, the dinosaur planet's where we are
Dinosaur planet, la de da


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: The Story Of My Life
I was watching Eastenders Omnibus
When the phone rang which was odd because
I was pretty sure I hadn't turned it on
I flipped it open but the screen was dark
Then a voice from above said Hello Mark
This is God come to tell you where you're going wrong

You should wear a flower in your hair
And dance nude as if nobody else is there
I said God, with all possible respect
Are you really after Mark Hibbett?
He said Sorry, it's Hibbert - forget it about it, yeah?

And that's the story of my life
People cannot spell my name quite right
It's HIBBE double T if you wish to correctly address me
It's not essential, but it would be nice

Not like the shop selling sporting goods
Or a Japanese poet, and I would
Rather not see it like Mother Hubbard from Nursery Rhymes
Or like Kenny Hibbitt who played for Wolves
And managed Walsall or, of course
Like the Doctor off The Simpsons, not quite

When I first started on the stage
I'd lecture Landlords in whose pubs I'd play
One time I found to my surprise
The poster spelt my surname right
It said Simon Hibbett, doors open half past eight

And that's the story of my life
People cannot spell my name quite right
MJ HI double B ETT, to spell it all out correctly
It's not vital, but it is polite

Frustrated with the dyslexia
Applied to my chosen nomme de guerre
I went to the crossroads, to strike a deadly deal
I said hey Satan, what's the price
For getting my name spelt right
And he said come here and sit upon my knee

He said I think there's been a mistake
I'm not Old Nick I'm Nick The Saint
I don't burn in the pit of eternity
I get slightly scorched in your chimney
And everywhere I go I go by Sleigh

If that's the story of your life
As crosses borne go that one is pretty light
who cares if it's I, ER or U
Be thankful that your name's being used
At all - now get out of my sight

Rudolph glowered and Blitzen hissed
As he crossed my name off his list
And said "Let this be a lesson to you, lad"
He took the reins and off they flew
I wasn't bothered, for I knew
It's Simon Hibbert whose Christmas will be crap


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Call The Lyric Police
I was really quite impressed when you ran down the frets
With your eyes tightly closed because it meant you knew the chords
And I nearly got undressed when you looked so intense
But then I had the misfortune of listening to the words

They were a pack of lies
There was not a word of truth in the whole bloody song
And also it was shit and was a bit too long
So I called for the Lyric Police.

You never were a blacksmith
You've not got five children or a wandering wife
You're not a troubador, you're not even poor
And you've not been down a mine-shaft in your whole stupid life."

Well, you may say it's folklore
Or you may claim it's a dying art
But you can take your penny whistle, shove it up your arse Because I've called for the Lyric Police

And ain't it funny how the folkies who claim to keep it real
Are the biggest phonies of them all?
And if you ever should encounter them you know who to call
Go on and call for the Lyric Police


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Johnny Yeah Jingle
Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Johnny Yeah
Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Johnny Yeah
Knock three times on his door
And say "Are you there?"
Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Johnny Yeah

Knock three times on his door
And say "Are you there?"
Johnny Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Johnny Yeah
Johnny Yeah
Johnny Yeah
(And The Boy Malloy)



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Honey Honey You Work Too Hard
Honey honey, you work too hard
They don't appreciate you
Honey honey, you work too hard
It's like you don't know what else you're supposed to do
Well, you could stop feeling judged by
The workshy
Honey honey, you know that you work too hard

Honey Honey, you work too late
It's like The Marie Celeste
Honey Honey, you work too late
In the pool of light from the lamp on your desk
The useless buggers you work with
They're not worth it
Honey Honey, you know that you work too late

I do not work in the real world
I can confirm that's true
I only visit the real world
When I'm waiting here for you

Honey Honey, I love you
I love the fact that you care
Honey Honey, I love you
I love the way you work on when no-one else is there
And when the call for last orders is gone
I'll still be stood here by the intercom Singing honey honey you know that I love you

Honey honey you work too late
Honey honey I think you're GRATE
Honey honey you work too hard
And I love you


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Data Storage Thing
Faster than a 10 year old in a stolen car
Quicker than careers of Reality TV stars
With a Russian Optician's Operating Speed
And more processing than a Moon that's made of cheese

Prepare to your have your mental mind amazed
By the Power of Parallel Solid State

La la la la la you've got my head in a spin
You Data Storage Thing
Data Storage Thing

Like a super ninja on a bike rode hell for leather
Twenty four SSDs strapped together
When computing's accredited as a sport this one
Will win the gold the silver and, also the bronze

Thrusting forward at 2 gigabytes a second
Giving other processors clinical depresson

La la la la la you've got my head in a spin
You Data Storage Thing
Data Storage Thing

Really fast! It's really fast!
Really fast! It's really fast!

La la la la la you've got my head in a spin
You Data Storage Thing
Data Storage Thing



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: The Ballad Of Alan Moore
Like almost every Thursday lunchtime
I was at the comics rack
Flipping through Countdown Arena
Thinking Yes, I know it's crap
But it's got alternate universes
Which I'm a sucker for
When I heard a voice I thought I knew
And looking up I saw

Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
Standing in the corner of the store
Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
Standing in the corner of the store

Well, the entire shop went silent
As everybody realised
Our generation's hero
Had caught us all buying shite
So I quickly made my purchases
Then ran out of the door
So I could ring my best beloved
And say Guess who i just saw!

Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
Standing in the corner of the store
Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
Standing in the corner of the store

She said "That is amazing"
"But are you really sure?"
I said he's got a beard and ringed fingers
And he's nine foot tall
He cruises the imagisphere
And wields a warlock's staff
With Glycon the sock puppet God
And Cthulu singing that

It's Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
He's standing in the corner of your store
Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
We command his bibliography's recall

Mogo Doesn't Socialise
Top Ten, Tom Strong, Supreme
Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow?
Promethea, The League
Watchmen, V and Marvelman
Swamp Thing, Halo Jones
The double decker brain and Skizz
And Captain Britain - oh!

Hang on just a minute - suddenly I see
It was Alan Moore who sparked my love
Of Multiverse theory

So I ran back to the shop
And grabbed him in a manly hug
And said I thank for the years
Of comics I've loved, bad and good
Or at least that's what I would have done
On Earth 1610
But on Earth Prime, I was far too scared
And so I just went home

So Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
Never knew how much I had to thank him for
Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
I'd hate to think he thought he was ignored
Alan Moore! Alan Moore!
I wrote this song to thank you, Alan Moore




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Bonkers For Conkers
After hours beneath the boughs
Of the chestnut tree
A man stands hand in hand with nature
Working in harmony
A drill, a string, a practice swing
And he's fully prepared
To take part in a tournament
That's fought wherever there are

Conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
The finest game that ever has been played
Conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
The great achievement of the human race

A steady hand, a wary eye
A swing that's bold and true
You'll find in time your none-er
Will become a one or two-er
In order to progress it must
Accomplish many feats
It will be crowned the champion
If no-one else can beat

Your conker
We're bonkers for conkers
Played in the arena or within the home
Conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
The best thing human kind has ever known

But please don't bake them
That makes you a cheat
Nor should you roast them
Unless you want to eat

Your conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
We wish it could be autumn every day
Conkers
We're bonkers for conkers
Come get your conkers out and let's all play
Conkers


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing