Forest Moon Of Enderby

by MJ Hibbett & The Validators

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1.
Martin works in Mark's and Spencers Sharon stocks up cash dispensers Mary married a man who hears Voices in his head Your mate Brian knocks down buildings Sean and Sally had six children I'm ensconced in academia And you, you're still in bed But do you remember when we'd go to town Meet our friends and hang around And talk about what we'd like to be? We slowly went our separate ways Meeting up on holidays To talk about the way it used to be Our headmaster's back in prison Peter plays for the first division No-one's heard from Fred Sexy Sadie's put on weight Michael's working in Kuwait Billy Jones is dead And do you remember when we'd go to town Meet our friends and hang around And talk about what we'd like to be? We slowly went our separate ways Meeting up on holidays To talk about the way it used to be You said that you'd be famous and drive a flashy car I thought that I would be the first man on Mars But you couldn't pay your insurance and had to sell your guitar And I'm stuck in the Midlands I guess I didn't get too far No I didn't get too far No I didn't get too far But do you remember when we'd go to town Meet our friends and hang around And talk about what we'd like to be? We slowly went our separate ways Meeting up on holidays To talk about the way it used to be Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
2.
I left Poly in the '90's when there wasn't any jobs I signed up for highbrow affluence, that wasn't what I got Deducting drink from dole money it didn't leave a lot I had to shop around for bargains, had to shop in certain shops 'Cos after social life and rent I found my money mostly spent And so I had to go and shop at Aldi's Pound-stretchers, Lidls, Costcutters, all them Four cans of beans for fifteen pence is rarely seen in Mark & Spencers So off to Aldi's I went But it turns out ZX Spectrum use gave me a skill for work And I took up typing audio as a very junior clerk As my words per minute rate rose so did I up through the grades Till I earnt a temporary secretary's starting wage And though you'd hardly call me rich I had enough cash to say this: I am never going back to Aldi's I will never give a penny more to them I'm gonna pledge my troth to Tesco, Sainsbury's or maybe Waitrose I will never darken Aldi's door again And you may ask me why I prefer to pay a higher price You see a fridge full of nice things is my equivalent of bling It's a sign of my progression through my life And when I say I'm never going back to Aldi's I mean I'm charting a new course for quality I'll sail the seas of excellence, I'll count my blessings, not my pence I'm worth it, I'll fly the flag of me I'm wearing clothes that won't collapse after one go in the wash I'm buying records that I like whether they're cool or not And I'll do the same for books and films, and when it comes to wine I'll buy a bottle with a cork in that costs four pounds ninety nine To The Spice Girls I said Yes But I will never accept Steps Because I'm never going back to Aldi's No I'm never going back there again I've worked for years for what I've got, so don't fob me off with pound shop pop And don't kid me with brown label literacy, like Harry Potter I'm never going back to Aldi's ever again Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
3.
You're very lucky nowadays if you get to see them Outside of the confines of a fashion musuem Antique speed and classic glue All dressed up in a period costume Here they come - the Merchant Ivory Punks Merchant Ivory Punks The Merchant Ivory Punks You're making a statement but no-one's listening Playing Pretty Vacant at your daughter's christening Sid Vicious died to put your face on a postcard Looking like a reject from a seventies theme park Here they come - the Merchant Ivory Punks Merchant Ivory Punks The Merchant Ivory Punks With your archeological attitude The world's moved on so why don't you? Punk's not dead, but you're not needed Ever felt cheated? Here they come - the Merchant Ivory Punks Merchant Ivory Punks The Merchant Ivory Punks Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing it: very fast indeed, was often the answer.
4.
According to the writers of the TV Guide It's only just stopped being late last night And the street lamps can't decide if their shift has ended There's a parcel that I'm meant to be receiving Between 7am and 6 o'clock this evening So I'm up and out at twenty to to the newsagent I'm waiting for the man in the delivery van It's cold enough to see your breath It's the time of day I usually prefer to spend in bed So I'm surprised to find the High Road is alive with people Maybe I'm amazed because I'm half awake But it takes my mind a while to realise that they Are the early risers who ride in before the office legions On foot on bike and on the buses They're rushing an hour before the other hour rushes In the other rush hour With paint streaked jeans there's a likely lad Swinging his sandwiches in a carrier bag As he strides through to find his fanbase waiting He's the king among the women of the smoker's laugh 'Cos he reminds them of the good times that they used to have When they only had themselves to get up in the morning Getting in to punch the clock Before my alarm clock's ringing's stopped The other rush hour I see a younger me on the top of a bus Trying to impress girls by reading a book Even though he'll never speak to the women he'll be working next to He'll sit on his own when he's eating his lunch He'll be going straight home when they go to the pub He's too busy counting down the hours until the next semester This working class colossus teeters When he has to actually work with working class people In the other rush hour Now, in the corner shop there's a wall of flesh On the covers of the magazines pretending they're for men They're the photo's of the jobless actresses afraid and naked While in the papers immigration and society parties Mortgage rates and cancer scares and straight bananas Fill space in the froth of pop and lies and hatred Page 22 there's a cartoon Chav A townie, a pikey, to be laughed at By the other rush hour As a snotty little sod of 17 years old I was taken by the arm and very sternly told That I was never to assume that I was better than other people You see I'd grown up thinking we were Middle Class But when I went to Polytechnic I soon found out that There's a lot more to it than having double glazed bay windows In the louche lidded eyes of the proper upper classes I was just another atom in the faceless masses To the other rush hour My parcel spent my day off failing to arrive I finally rang the depot at 5.45 And complained like a PTA chairman in a restaurant I heard what I was doing and apologised It was at this very moment that the van arrived With a driver with a clipboard and a package and my guilty conscience He said I'm sorry it took so long to turn up But before he could explain I had to interrupt And say Yeah, we both got stuck in another Rush Hour Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
5.
Any day at load-in time Like fallen fruits of ROCK you'll find them strewn across the venue floor The setlists of the night before Other bands' setlists - Movin In Other bands' setlists - U Own Me Other bands' setlists - Middle Glasses Other bands' setlists - Killing Psychos Other bands' setlists - Gold Digger Haircut Other bands' setlists - We Heart The Doms Other bands' setlists - The Week Other bands' setlists - Confess No matter what the type of band Their setlists will sound gothic and Slightly pompous and obsessed With their's or someone else's death Other bands' setlists - Intro Other bands' setlists - Redneck Other bands' setlists - Beond Anger Other bands' setlists - Blood on my foot Other bands' setlists - I Cant Die Other bands' setlists - Meat feast Other bands' setlists - Bring the fight Other bands' setlists - Death Blow Laser printed on A4 Double spaced with two encores Was this the font that rocked the place And won the quarter finals of the local band showcase? Other bands' setlists - Devils And Angels Other bands' setlists - My Addiction Other bands' setlists - Run Or Hide Other bands' setlists - Soul Other bands' setlists - Freeze The Sun Other bands' setlists - The Big Issue Other bands' setlists - Missing Person Other bands' setlists - Drive Was this one writ in blood fresh gouged Or did the drummer's normal biro just run out? I wonder if the singer's well And where on earth he learnt to spell? Other bands' setlists - Pretty Maybe To Pretty Other bands' setlists - Love You Till I Die Other bands' setlists - Happy Song Other bands' setlists - Take It Away Other bands' setlists - Chorus Twice At End Other bands' setlists - Don't Forget The Harmonies Other bands' setlists - On Your Own Other bands' setlists - Say Something The moral of the song is this If you don't want tomorrow's band to take the piss Even if your stuff's dead good Always pick your setlist up Other bands' setlists - 16K Other bands' setlists - Gay Other bands' setlists - Century Other bands' setlists - QOLED Other bands' setlists - Fight Other bands' setlists - Brother Other bands' setlists - Billy J Other bands' setlists - Easily Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
6.
City Centres 02:17
Every week in Sunday papers Some silly sod is bound to say That the fact that British High Streets Have the same national chains Means that all our city centres Are now utterly the same It seems that life within the M25 Gives you brand names on the brain Because they say that City Centres All look the same Because our modern city centres Have been taken over by shopping chains Lift your mind beyond the signs Of the franchises and you'll find That the hills and stone of Sheffield (for instance) Are no way alike To Peterborough's bricks and flatness Or to Truro or to Milton Keynes Even though they've all got Marks & Spencers Boots and Body Shop and HMV Yet you say that City Centres All look the same Because our modern city centres Have been taken over by shopping chains Go get a book and look At the city 90 years ago You'll find it in the Local History section Of Smiths or Waterstones The architecture's lasted, the street layout's the same The weather and geography all remain Only names on shopfronts And moustaches have been changed Yet they say that City Centres They all look the same I think it's you that's turning Mental You've been taken over by shopping chains And if you think that City Centres They all look the same I think it's you that's turning Mental You've been taken over by shopping chains Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
7.
I'm standing on the corner getting beaten up By the kids from the year above Finding out that smart remarks Don't help to mop up blood And when they've finally tired of this And they've all gone away Someone comes and helps me up And quietly says Leave my brother alone Leave my brother alone" He says "Mark, if I was older And if I had my bike I would cycle after them And challenge them to a fight" I said "James, don't you worry yourself It's really quite all right Sometimes it's enough to know There's someone on your side who'll say Leave my brother alone Leave my brother alone" Fast-forward fifteen years And we're talking on the phone About his stupid bint ex-girlfriend Who has left him on his own In the house they bought together While she's out seeing other men She's got the nerve to wonder why They can't still be friends, and I thought Leave my brother alone Leave my brother alone I said "James, if I had a car And if I could even drive I'd dash straight up the M69 And give her a piece of my mind" He said "Mark, don't you worry yourself It's really quite all right Sometimes it's enough to know There's someone on your side who'll say Leave my brother alone Leave my brother alone Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
8.
There's a wanker wearing army boots Talking loudly in the pub about how he's great Because he just got back from London Where he went to a riot on the first of May And he thinks that Direct Action Is robbing a Macdonald's and the shop next door And he doesn't think Direct Action Is laying down your life to fight Fascism in a war Didn't we all have a laugh? Getting pissed up on cider and putting Graffiti on the Cenotaph And the tabloids wrapped in the Union Jack Bellow like a General about Churchill's fate And the gardeners flaunt their bravery Standing up before the cameras with 10,000 mates While in the residential homes and the graveyards The butchered generation's tippexed out again Is sixty seconds too much to ask for To remember the sacrifice of love to conquer hate? Are you so self-obsessed not to have A sense of shame and disgust to see graffiti on the cenotaph? Is a slogan on another placard More important to you than genocide? Do you put yourself above The millions from the class you claim as yours who died Go on, design another t-shirt against Nazis And refuse to buy a poppy cos it glorifies war But is there anything except self-preservation That you'd believe in enough to be prepared to die for? It's the heroes of the Working Class You piss on their graves, putting graffiti on the cenotaph Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
9.
A seminal season of art-rock extravaganza collides headlong with the South Bank, taking no prisoners. As an experiment in alienation and reappraisal it is a singular success, but fails on many other levels. "Pass the sick bag", whispers General Pinochet, whimsically, as he turns to his neighbour. But she pays him no heed. She is entranced by the Primal Rhythms of the Bolivian Nose Flautist. "Our intention", proclaims the Head of Entertainments, "is to challenge and bemuse", and the reporter nods her head, looked suitably impressed, but more bemused than otherwise. She stares at his poor quality beard, knowing he sleeps on his head to encourage its growth, when he should be coaxing the hairs with the Primal Rhythms of the Bolivian Nose Flautist. Somewhere backstage, where the sandwiches are curling for their country, the Queen is searching for booze. "It must be here somewhere", she imagines, but cannot focus her drink antennae, for a strange sound exudes from the theatrical wings, and her eyes defocus as a strange sound sings and she too becomes a victim to the Primal Rhythms of the Bolivian Nose Flautist. And after the show, when the crowd have left, and the party has been partied and all have departed, all that remains is a haunting sound, filling the auditorium from somewhere quite distant, and a passing bluebottle, having the day of its life, takes an equivalent of a year to stop and listen to the Primal Rhythms of the Bolivian Nose Flautist. Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
10.
Let the weird band win in the battle of the bands Don't let the funk band win it just because they've got more fans Let's reward imagination, let's applaud their spirit and Let's let the weird band win in the battle of the bands You know the ones I mean, they'll have a bloody stupid name An eclectic range of instruments that none of them can play And a singer who can't sing, I think it's fairly safe to say That they're only here because another band has run away But the songs that they sing Are about all sorts of things That no one else has sung about Or thought about before Let the weird band win in the battle of the bands Don't let the blues band win it just because they've got more fans Let's reward imagination, let's applaud their spirit and Let's let the weird band win in the battle of the bands And they're talking to the audience, they're trying to explain As they stand and sing their hearts out from the island of of the stage In a set where no two songs will sound in any way the same They've have found a way to use a plectrum at the same time as a brain But they're roundly ignored With sarcastic applause And the judges will smirk smile and try to look bored Because the weird band can't win the battle of the bands They'll let the punk band win it just because they've got more fans They wouldn't know imagination if it bit them on the arse That's why the weird band can't win in the battle of the bands The enemy's in leather jackets, over denim jackets Wearing hats of all descriptions and their sun glasses indoors They started shooting moody glances when a girlfriend started dancing To our heroes' shambling antics, but she didn't stop because The songs that they sing Are about all sorts of things That no one else has sung about Or thought about before And like the first drop of a monsoon something marvellous begins As all around her other girlfriends start to hear the words they sing And as the rain falls harder round her and the waters rise up high It might just be tonight's the night the judges judge the damn thing right And let the weird band win in the battle of the bands As the righteous waves wash clean the worlds of other people's fans And they're applauded for intelligence, imagination and They let the weird band win in the battle of the bands The songs that they sing Are about all sorts of things And nothing like this has ever happened To any weird band before Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
11.
Call the police and form a cordon Let's all praise the traffic warden They keep our cities safe If they should clamp you You really should say "Thank You" It's your own fault if you left your car too late Leicester was the first place to have them With their black and yellow suits Double Yellow Lines are always on their mind As they walk by in the smart Doc Marten's boots Before they came to be the Bobby on the Beat Was in charge of Traffic Control But now they catch the crooks while the wardens fill their books Leaving us all free to Rock and Roll So, call the police and form a cordon Let's all praise the traffic warden They keep our cities safe If they should clamp you You really should say "Thank You" It's your own fault if you left your car too late It's your own fault if you left your car too late Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
12.
Drummers always have to drive Then go and park the car All on their own while the rest of the band Are hanging out in the bar And when they've finally struggled back They'll find that all their kit Is sat in boxes at the front of the stage Exactly where they left it Oh sing with me now A story that's been sent From the very depths of time This is the drummers' lament The drummer has to soundcheck first And finish packing last And worse than this, he cannot drink Because he's driving back Despite all this he'd never moan He takes it on the chin It makes no difference anyway His microphone's not plugged in Oh sing with me now A story that's been sent From the very depths of time This is the drummers' lament A drummer always says to his children As Ringo said to Zac "Don't do what it did son, you'll spend your life sat at the back" As Caeser said to Cleapotra Whilst reclining in his tent "If you bang me bongoes" "I'll give you the drummer's lament" All in all it's a bloody good job That every percussionist Gets to work out all his anger By hitting things, hard, with sticks Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

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Our second "Rest Of" album, with 12 Validators tracks on the main disc - the CD version comes with "Hibbett's Superstore" on it too!

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released October 11, 2010

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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