Christmas Selection Box

by MJ Hibbett & The Validators

/
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
03:22
17.
18.
19.

about

A compilation of ALL our Christmas Songs, available to download exclusively from bandcamp.

Visit our webpage at www.mjhibbett.com/christmas for lyrics, notes and ESPECIALLY for videos!

credits

released December 13, 2010

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

MJ Hibbett & The Validators UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

contact / help

Contact MJ Hibbett & The Validators

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: The Advent Calendar Of FACT
Door One A Robin in a woodland scene
Door Two A parcel with a bow
Door Three A traditional Christmas Tree
Door Four A pointless pile of snow
Door Five It's a drunken mob of Carol Singers
Door Six Appears to be a Christmas Sock
It's the madness advent calenders bring us
But here's one thing that it is not

It's nothing like the Christmas that I know and like
It's not like any Christmas I've had
Don't bring me Advent Calenders of falsehood myth and LIES
Bring me the Advent Calendar of FACT

Door seven It's raining all day long
Door eight Westlife at number one
Door nine A child falls off a brand new bike
Door ten A cat entangled in the Christmas Lights
Door Eleven Someone saying "Let's play Triv!"
Door Twelve Me not escaping to the pub
It may not sound like it
But this is something that I love

This is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT



Thirteen Y-Fronts
Fourteen Jumpers
Fifteen Receipts kept just in case
Sixteen Rude pants
Seventeen "Massage" tools
Eighteen The look on your Nan's face
Being drunk at 9 am
Seems like a Good Idea
When combining your family
With free wine, whisky, rum and beer

And this is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT

Nineteen Half a jar of Cranberry Sauce
Twenty A pile of washing up
Twenty One Highlighter Pens in Radio Times
Twenty Two A tape we'll never watch
Twenty Three Burnt Brandy on a Christmas Pudding
Nobody wants to eat
Twenty Four Walnuts to watch the film with
Then all falling fast asleep

This is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Have A Drink With Us (Drink Doch Eine Met)
There's an old boy hanging round outside the door
Who wishes he could come inside the pub
But the change he keeps counting in his hand
Will never be enough

Inside everybody's having fun
And no-one sees the old boy standing there
Then a bloke at the bar buys him a pint
And says come on inside

Have a drink with us, don't worry because
There's no need to be there on your own
If you're out of cash, we can fill your glass
Have a drink with us, and have a laugh

All the lonely people sat at home
Wishing for the fun of younger days
All they're waiting for's a knock at the door
And someone who will say

Have a drink with us, don't worry because
There's no need to be there on your own
If you're out of cash, we can fill your glass
Have a drink with us, and have a laugh

Drink doch eine met, stell dich nit esu ahn
Du steihs he die janze Zick eröm
Häs de och kei Jeld, dat es janz ejal
Drink doch met un kümmer dich nit dröm
Track Name: Give Us A Kiss (for Christmas)
Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

I don't want a card this year and I don't want a present
All I want's a kiss from you, cos that will last for ever

Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

Well if Santa tied you in a bow and left you neath the mistletoe
Would I love you more in the snow? I don't know, so

Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

CHRISTMAS!
Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Last Christmas (in the EU)
The Christmas Market's German
And the Swedish grew the tree
The beer is Belgian and so are the sprouts
The Reindeer are from Finland and
The Port is Portugese
We've got Cava when the French Champagne runs out

Christmas is a time to both be happy and be sad
But this year is sadder than before

This is our last Christmas in the European Union
And like the passports I am blue
Our final chance to say
Vesele Vanoce
Last yule in the EU

(Next year) Our Christmas dinner's British food
We grew all on our own
A parsnip and a pile of canned potatoes
The tinsel has caught fire
And the fairy lights have blown
Because they're now unregulated

And the crackers are all empty though it said upon the box
There'd be massive prizes, there is just a joke

This is our last Christmas in the European Union
And like the passports I am blue
Our final chance to say
Vesele Vanoce
Last yule in the EU

Santa we're writing to you
With one request
Please use your festive powers
To sort out this mess

Santa I believe in you
Unlike that red bus you are true

Give us another Christmas in the European Union
Like the passports we are blue
We want another chance to say
Vesele Vanoce
Another yule in the EU

Give us every Christmas in the European Union
Don't make us leave to please the toffs in blue
All we want to say
Is Vesele Vanoce
Let's us stay in the EU this Christmas
Let's stay in the EU
Track Name: Easy Christmas
Let's have an easy Christmas
This year, just you and me
Let's have an easy Christmas
We'll get a plastic tree
We'll have a TV dinner
And just one present each
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year

We won't see anybody
Except maybe on Skype
We won't do decorations
Except maybe some lights
We'll won't send Christmas cards except
To people that we like
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year

All right, we will have some bread sauce
And put a wreath on the front door
Two types of spuds, and then of course
We'll listen
To Bob Dylan
It must be Santa!

We won't start Christmas shopping
Until November 5th
We'll wait til 6am
Before we open any gifts
And then by half past nine
We will all be completely pissed
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year

Let's have an easy Christmas
With just the twelve of us
Let's have an easy Christmas
With hardly any fuss
The sound of Santa's Sleigh bells
Makes me relaxed because
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year
We're gonna have an easy Christmas this year
Track Name: The Christmas Robot
Here comes the Christmas Robot
Crashing through the trees
Here comes the Christmas Robot
Shooting lazer beams
He is ever so festive
So silvery and tall
Will holly sprinkled on his guns
Which will destroy us all

Here comes the Christmas Robot
Destroying the town
Until the Christmas Robot
Hears a distant sound
He pauses in his mayhem
To listen to the roar
Then over the horizon sees
The Christmas Dinosaur

"Are you the Christmas Robot?"
The Dinosaur enquires
"Yes", says the Christmas Robot
Setting a house on fire
"In that case I've good news for you
I've brought a Christmas gift
Which I'll deliver to your face
It is a Christmas fist"

And so the Christmas Dinosaur
Launches her attack
Upon the Christmas Robot
Who swiftly battles back
The sparks that fly and explosions
Light up the Holy Night
Like a Fireworks Display
In which everyone dies

But then a Christmas orphan
Who has somehow survived
Uses a Christmas disco deck
And says, all amplified
"You have obliterated
Everyone I ever knew
But as it is Christmas
I forgive both of you"

And then the Christmas violence
Comes to a sudden end
"Hey", says the Christmas Robot
"Why don't we be friends?"
The Christmas Dinosuar agrees
And the two giants hug
Then eat the Christmas Orphan
In a great big Christmas pud

Here comes The Christmas Robot
Spreading Christmas joy
Here comes The Christmas Dinosaur
For all the girls and boys
They put aside their differences
For the sake of Christmas Day
To wish a merry Christmas
And wipe out the human race
Track Name: Thank Goodness For Christmas
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Well done Mary and the Holy Ghost
It's extremely convenient
That you had baby Jesus
When we needed a party the most

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Without it we'd all get S.A.D.
It's so dark, dank and wet
From November to Feb
Fairy lights give off Vitamin D

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
It's saving the economy
Think of all those employed
Making mince pies and toys
And the huge Beano Book industry

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
We can clear out the drinks cabinet
Booze bought on holiday
All goes down the same way
As the fancy brandy your Auntie sent

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
A showcase for the BBC
We'll get new Doctor Who
Strictly Come Dancing too,
Morecambe And Wise from the seventies

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Keeping the fitness business afloat
If we didn't all eat
Chocolate and cake all week
In Jan all of the gyms would be closed

Crackers and Christmas trees
Would go to waste
If Christmas disappeared
What would we do on Boxing day?

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Every year I get to write a song
You might like it or not
But at least you have got
To admit that it's never that long

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Track Name: The Flashing Santa
The first time i saw it i couldn't believe how awful it was
Someone in the flats had a five foot Santa, flashing on their door and I thought
Jeez Louise, isn't Trick Or Treat American import enough?
And I must admit that the sight of it would flipping wind me up
Every morning on the way to work, inside my mind I'd murmur
The West Wing, Elvis, Spider-man - this far but mate, not further
You're not part of my culure, and you're not part of my Christmas
My nemesis - the Flashing Santa

Twelve months later he was back and this time he seemed to say
"Hey buddy! Chris Christingle here - happy holidays!"
"And look I've bought some buddies" and sure enough he had
Waving from a Christmas Steam engine, on the next door flat
There was Rudolph, snowmen, and the baby Jesus being adored by a donkey
And Santa even seemed to wink at me when a bulb in one eye went wonky
I said look, you're not part of my culture, and you're not part of my Christmas
You're my nemesis - the Flashing Santa

By the second week the entire street had gone illumination mad
Like a flashing flourescent contagion, spread from a single flat
People came from miles around, and outside our's they'd ask
I wonder why this is the only house that's decided to stay dark?
So I grappled with my conscience and by the start of advent next
I'd been down to Argos for a sign saying "Happy Xmas" with a pulsing X
He may not be part of my culture, but he's now part of my Christmas
He's our old chum - the Flashing Santa

But this year something isn't right - Santa has gone missing
The old guy in the flat has left and he's taken Santa with him
I've scoured the shops for a replacement, but he must have come from Woolworths
There's nothing like him anywhere, I thought until I looked
On ebay, where I paid above the odds for one that's broken -
It said a bulb had gone long long ago, and one of his eyes won't open
And now he's back. On my front door, and he's making Christmas happen
Our cultured friend - the Flashing Santa
Track Name: Roy Wood In The Blue Note
Oh look - Roy Wood
Is standing at the Bar
Of The Blue Note club in Derby
In the 1990s
When we rolled up to dance
All he want's a pint
And a few words with his mates
But he knows as sure as Santa's sleigh is coming round
That someone's bound to say

Oi! Roy!

Do you wish that it
Could be Christmas every day?
Do you really want a daily dose of children singing
When the band begins to play?
If the snow never ends
Will it put a smile upon your face?
Won't you tell me do you really wish it could be Christmas every single day

But Roy, he's aloof
He's heard all this before
Every time he wants a drink after the pubs have shut
Since 1974
It's a Midlands Rite
Of passage into adulthood
Going down the Blue Note on a weekday night
So that you you can shout at Roy Wood.

Oi! Roy!

Do you wish that it
Could be Christmas every day?
Do you really want a daily dose of children singing
When the band begins to play?
If the snow never ends
Will it put a smile upon your face?
Won't you tell me do you really wish it could be Christmas every single day

Logistically it's problematic -
When you gonna find the time to do your wrapping?
The only place that's open is the corner shop
The constant flow of stuffing means the the toilet's blocked
The economy's shrinking as our jumpers get tighter
The only people working are the Queen's speech writers
Everybody's sleeping in their Mum's spare room
I really don't think you can have thought this through
Have you Roy?

But there's one day
When the drunken comments cease
All the idiots are bothering their families
And Roy Wood is at peace
Oh glorious day!
December 25th
As Roy raises a silent pint up to his lips
You'll hear him whisper this:

Oh yes. he says

I wish that it
Could be Christmas every day
When the bells stop ringing and the kids stop singing
And Santa's gone away
I'll have my beer
And the only sound you'll hear
Is me telling you I really wish it could be Christmas every single day

Leave me alone for Christmas
Track Name: I Got You What You Want For Christmas
I went to do my shopping but i didn't take a list
I know that in your stocking you'll be wanting some of this
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas

I used a bit of effort and an awful lot of love
To make sure that I got you something really really good
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas

It's not something for sharing or for anyone else to use
It's something really lovely that's exactly right for you
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: The 29th Day Of December
All the cards have been written, addressed and dispatched
On the 29th Day of December
All the lists have been ticked off and presents unwrapped
On the 29th Day of December
All our worries are over for eleven months
So at last we can do what we actually want
Goodwill, peace on earth, when you're not back at work
On the 29th Day of December

Let's all talk about walking, then stay in instead
On the 29th Day of December
There's a pile of books that'll need to get read
On the 29th Day of December
The Freeview box is full of Christmas TV
But let's watch two series of US DVDs
Fetch that whisky gift set that we've not started yet
On the 29th Day of December

Is it me or does the world smell vaguely of beer?
On the 29th Day of December
I'm off back to bed for the rest of the year
On the 29th Day of December
As the frantic festivities come to an end
I can't wait to start planning the whole thing again
The spirit of Christmas is finally here
On the 29th Day of December
On the 29th Day of December


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

If you like MJ Hibbett & The Validators, you may also like: