Dinosaur Planet

by MJ Hibbett & The Validators

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Sixty five million years ago the Dinosaurs disappeared And now... they're back Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! ( ah-oo) Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Don't, Darren, don't Drive your panda car out to the old abandoned farm And don't, Darren, don't Leave your police radio on the back seat, with your phone You might as well get into a spitfire Clutching a photograph Of the fiancee who you promised This mission would be your last Don't, Darren, don't See a strangely glowing shape and decide to investigate Don't, Darren, don't Get any closer and then shout 'Is there anyone about?' You might as well go down the basement Of a haunted house Saying 'There's no such thing as ghosts!' Just as the lights go out Turn around and look behind you Darren When you heard a sound I doubt that it was nothing Every time I see you in films, Darren I shout 'Turn around' but the same thing always happens You'll be teleporting down to a planet Wearing a red shirt If someone's getting shot with a phaser gun It won't be Captain Kirk Or you'll be diving into the ocean Scoffing at the warning flags Saying 'These lifeguards don't know what they're talking about - Sharks never attack' Or you'll be driving the super-villain In your lorry to the prison yard Taunting Magneto, saying 'You'll never escape From behind these iron bars!' Don't, Darren, don't Come running crying home to me You won't get any sympathy Just don't. Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! ( ah-oo) Sixty five million years ago they disappeared Now the dinosaurs are back The human race must learn to live in fear The earth is under attack From the Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo) They do not come in peace, they come in hate Let non-saurons beware But is there something that they're running from? What could make a Tyrannosaur scared? On the Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet (ah-oo) But could a crazy kind of love exist Between a human and velociraptor? Or might it only take one small kiss To turn that cold cold blood to warm? All it needs is someone brave enough To go where only love can go To hold out the hand of peace and say... "No! No! No! Mercy!" Clearly not. On the… Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! ( ah-oo) Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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A Little Bit 02:36
They had it easy in the renaissance They could invent new branches of science over lunch But nowadays we work more incrementally No-one's naming any new elements after us Because we all do a little bit, that's how we do research There's teams all round the world doing these little bits of work We only do a little bit but it's always for the best Every great leap forward takes a lot of little steps And no, it isn't very glamorous We won't make a world-shattering breakthrough We might find an explanation for gravitic oscillation But I somehow doubt you'll hear it on the news Because we all do a little bit but it’s a little bit of good And compared to working for a bank that little bit's enough We only do a little bit but when you put them in a pot All these little bits together turn into a lot Like the movement of tectonic plates That slowly change the planet Like the tiny grains of sand that swallow cities Like the mountains moved by rain drops Or the jungle moved by ants That's why my thesis isn't finished Some people think that they can save the world all by themselves But all of history's heroes had a little bit of help Robin Hood had Merry Men, King Arthur had all of his knights Even Batman had a butler to help him iron his tights So if you do a little bit don't be belittled by Those who do a lot of nothing that's in any way worthwhile Let's all get on with our little bits and let's take a little pride Knowing we are all a little bit of the future of mankind Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Here come the dinosaurs - run for the hills! They're here to stamp and claw and bite God help us if there's a fight We'll get killed Here come the dinosaurs to eviscerate They take delight in genocide With hatred in their eyes But they look don't half look great But don't you think it's wrong to be stood singing a song When a herd of hungry carnivores are near? Yes, but their murderous machines are so marvellously sleek They're so fabulous, so functional, and here Here are the dinosaurs, looks like we're doomed Oh but I am still in awe Of their oh so stylish claws As they slice me in two Here are the dinosaurs - I've no regrets The blood is pouring out of me But they still look chic As they eat my legs And you might think that she's a fool for having "Dinosaurs are cool!" As the second to last thing to go through her mind But the last thing was a tooth which you must admit it's true Is a pretty bloody awesome way to die Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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It's called The Theory Of A Dinosaur Planet I'll just give you the abstract To be going on with The Cretaceous-Tertiary Extinction event occurred, as far as we know, Sixty five point five million years ago But even the interval of error in that estimated date Is longer than it took us humans to evolve from apes And if in that time we mammals managed to conquer space I believe the Dinosaurs could have done the same That's The Theory Of A Dinosaur Planet The dinosaurs packed up and got away They must have had astronomers who saw the meteorite And they must have hypothesised the planet's dreadful plight I expect their engineers would have come up with the plan That said "Let's build a bunch of spaceships and get out while we still can" And in sixty five million years they will undoubtedly have changed Into a peaceful, deeply philanthropic kind of race That's The Theory Of A Dinosaur Planet There are dinosaur philosophers in space Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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It was my Grandad who wrote the above Which he submitted as a paper though his colleagues didn't think he should But he still did because, and I say this with love Because my Grandad, my Grandad is nuts He was very briefly famous twenty years ago He was in all the papers, on the telly and the radio Saying he'd uncovered evidence that the dinosaurs Had escaped being killed by a comet because some of them were astronauts They said "Your Grandad is completely nuts" "He isn't safe to be alone, put him in a mental home for good" But he stuck to his story, he refused to budge Because my Grandad, my Grandad is nuts Well of course it ended his career As an archeologist He was sacked from his post as a professor He was banned from all the digs He was excluded by the peer review journals Never asked to conferences But they had to book a massive room when he had his leaving do And the reason for that is this: Because my Grandad is a lovely man Though you should keep the conversation off Galactic Emigration if you possibly can Then he'll be delightful, he'll be a massive laugh And you'll forget that my Grandad is mad Because my Grandad is completely nuts He still believes his theory and says that history will be his judge He wouldn't change a thing even if he could Because my Grandad, my Grandad is nuts Because my Grandad, my Grandad is nuts Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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The Dinosaurs marched down the A47 The quickest route straight through the fen They destroyed Dereham, stamped on Swaffham Killed Kings Lynn, laid waste Long Sutton Wiped out Wisbech and then Saw that the Army had chosen Peterborough As the place where they would stand, fight and resist It's got excellent rail and bus links Ample parking and an ice rink But if it gets destroyed it won't be missed The scene was set for the Battle Of Peterborough The first time man and dinosaur would meet in war But when fighting Tyrannosaurus Nuclear Stegosaurus with bazooka The best we could have hoped for was a draw Along Bourges Boulevard they marched to battle The first skirmishes took place next to Queensgate Missiles flew and not much later It was nothing but a crater A million pounds of improvements had been made The Army then retreated back to Stanground As Velociraptors wrecked the outdoor pool Triceratops tore down the market Turned The Park into a toilet Then Ferry Meadows fell to Sauron rule Things weren't looking good in the Battle Of Peterborough As Bretton, Fletton, March and Yaxley were smashed down Market Deeping was demolished Orton Longueville was abolished Then they moved on to The East Of England Showground The Army made their last stand in the car park Where they stood heroic, glorious and strong But the overwhelming forces Of the armoured Allosauruses Meant the Battle of Peterborough did not last long And for the first time in about thirty years Peterborough managed to get on the news The newsreader looked sad and said "A lot of people are now dead But on the bright side, Cambridgeshire's been improved And it's awful that we've lost a nice Cathedral And on the East Coast mainline there will be delays But apart from all of that it isn't all that bad Hey, maybe they'll march on to Milton Keynes" And so ended the Battle Of Peterborough As the nation tried to look as if it cared But the blackened smoking hole And the terrible death toll Was the first exciting thing to ever happen there Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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That was my theory Of A Dinosaur Planet That there are dinosaur philosophers In space But now that they are here I must say that I'm surprised To find that they are frankly not very nice I thought that they would bring a wealth of hope and peace and love But all they've bought is lots and lots of tanks and knives and guns And if they're all kill-crazed psychopathic fans of war and death It could mean the end of human life and worse still even yet That my theory Of A Dinosaur Planet Is not entirely correct Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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We are The Giant Robots That's who were are We are not here to mess around So you had better write it down Capital T and G and R We are The Giant Robots "The Giant Robots" is our name Any other appellation Would be pointless affectation We'd be physically unchanged We are The Giant Robots This is your lucky day Feel free to admire But stay out of our way We are The Giant Robots And what you see is what you get We always speak as we find And say whatever's on our mind We're not Politically Correct We are The Giant Robots We're humble about our success We hardly mention it because When you're as brilliant as us We're know you're already impressed We are The Giant Robots We're big and we're strong and we're grey We're right about everything We're great Why have you come to Earth? You may well ask We're here to repossess Our dinosaur servants But we'll take you instead You'll be less cumbersome You'll be cleaner around the house And you've got opposable thumbs We are The Giant Robots Here's good news for the Human Race You're going to be Our new slaves Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Dinosaurs talk like pirates It's scientific fact If you require evidence We'd like to point out that In all pictures of Dinosaurs You'll see their mouths ajar As if they were caught in the middle of Saying "Yarr!" Dinosaurs talk like pirates It's indisputable If you harbour doubts then we Would like to point out to you That in all pictures of Dinosaurs If you care to look You'll see that nearly all of them Have a pirate's hook Dinosaurs talk like pirates It's obviously true But if you need a reminder I'll simply say to you They love to dance the horn-pipe Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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We are the Dinosaurs and our ancestors Were minding their own business when The robots came and kidnapped them and Indirectly us Conscripted Dinosaurs We knew our day would come We'd steal a ship and sail away In search of Pieces of Eight And a bottle of rum We worked out a way to fight the Giant Robots was to ignite A volcano, which they seem to be allergic to And while they all sniffed and sneezed we set sail on starry seas For our old home port, which is where we met you We are the Dinosaurs And we will confess It could be argued that we've been Ever so slightly too keen On massive violence But we are Dinosaurs That's just what we do But now the Robots have arrived It looks like we're all gonna die So how about a truce? Though in the past we've disagreed We're gonna make a mighty team Man and Dinosaur, come together at last And there's no one left alive Human, Sauron who'd deny That we're gonna kick some Giant Robot Ass Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Let's do a literature search And define our terms Let's do a literature search With a range of keywords Literature search, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba Literature search, ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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You're a Dinosaur I'm a general If you want reasons to keep apart I can think of several But the problem is this: I find you very very very strangely attractive I like to run amok You keep it military Two souls entwined harmoniously Is something we could never be It's ridiculous but it'strue I find you very very very strangely attractive Incompatible down to our DNA I ought to want to slash and bite you And I ought to be afraid Love has never ever been as blind as this I find you very very very strangely attractive I'm a general I'm a dinosaur Are we mad to think that this might work? Yes, of course we are But how can I help it if I can't believe I'm saying this The simple truth of it is I find you very very very strangely attractive Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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Since the moment that you landed on the planet You've been appalled to hear your habits called barbaric You might think that's what we're for But we regard ourselves as more Than freshly picked free range and organic To put it simply we would rather Be in your hearts than in your larder Please don't eat us, we want to be your friends Not your ingredients So before you munch your lunch kindly consider Your dinner could be someone else's little sister And if you say "but she was yum!" While later talking to her Mum Don't be surprised if her reply is somewhat bitter You might think she's being rude But she is not on the menu Please don't eat us, we want to be your friends Not your ingredients Please don't eat us please Let's all live in peace We are not your tea Please don't eat us please Please don't masticate my mother Please don't dine upon my Dad And please do not slice up my brother When you fancy a kebab Take the lead from our example Take a leaf out of our book You might like eating other species Human beings never would What's that? Oh well, that's different No, you can't look in the kitchen Please don't eat us, we want to be your friends Not your ingredients Please don't eat us please Let's all live in peace We are not your tea Please don't eat us please Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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To Battle! 00:11
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The Dinosaurs marched out that morning Their horns and their claws held high With the armies of the human race Stood proudly by their side Then the robots, they hoved into view Like a great moving city, a city of evil They knew - Oh they knew What they had to do They were caught in The final confrontation Facing Total Devastation Fighting, Fighting for the fate of the earth For the fate of the earth The first shot rang out A Tyrannosaur fell The human beside him let out a yell And said " No! No!" "No surrender, 'til this war is won" Then with a laser and a mechanical laugh A giant robot sawed him in half And said "Ha ha ha ha ha" "This is going to be fun!" They were caught in The final confrontation Facing Total Devastation Fighting, Fighting for the fate of the earth For the fate of the earth For the Fate Of The Earth We would lay down our lives For the Fate Of The Earth We will stand up and fight For the Fate Of The Earth Will be decided Tonight For the Fate Of The Earth Man and dinosaur For the Fate Of The Earth Will fight like never before For the Fate Of The Earth Let loose the Dimetrodons of war A giant robot, the size of a former Polytechnic's Engineering Building Drop-kicks an armoured tyrannosaur across the roof-tops of a burning city His machine gun spattering the night sky, bellowing as he flies Then the steel behemoth itself comes under attack From a combined fleet of enhanced Pterodactyls and human jet fighters Screeching missile after missile into its iron hide as it slowly falls to the street below Where it narrowly misses a speeding car Driven by Terry with his Grandad in the passenger seat Clutching a paper in one hand A phone in the other And between them the answer! Iridium! Iridium! That's how you get rid of them That rare, precious metal, that defines the KT boundary, Which we thought was the meteorite that wiped the Dinosaurs out But no! This literature search shows it was the failed final defence of the first dinosaurs They ignited volcanoes, to try and send out a blast Of Death to robots Iridium is death Death to robots! But then his phone reception is gone As they crash into an Iguanodon Gone mad with battle, who says "Yarr! Prepare to be food!" They try to turn, but find themselves trapped By a Giant Robot - they're under attack From both sides now - surely this must be their doom? Terry looks at his Grandad, and says "Well we tried" and his Grandad says "Yes but I'd hoped, all in all“ "That we'd get to the end in one piece" Then suddenly, racing down the street Comes his daughter, Terry's mother, the General And she's riding, oh how she's riding Captain Keith She stops, climbs down from his back And says "Iridium? As found in car spark plugs?" "Oh and look - I've got a Grenade launcher. " "Ain't that handy?" They put one inside the other, then the General looks at the robot and says "Pick on someone your own size, leave my boys alone!" And she fires the plug straight into the monster's side. There's a ball of fire, a scream of pain As the robot explodes in a hail of metallic rain Which cuts down the insane iguanodon Which you may remember was threatening to kill them earlier They'd been caught in The final confrontation Facing Total Devastation Fighting, fighting for the fate of the earth For the fate of the earth And now they've fought in The final confrontation Avoided Total Devastation Fighting, and winning for the fate of the earth For the fate of the earth Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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You thought that you could beat us because you were so immense With no fear of tiny dinosaurs and even smaller men Each one of you thought on your own you could take all of us on I think it's fair to say that you've been proved completely wrong We all do a little bit - a little bit of good And when we're all together then those little bits add up Let's shout "Hooray" because today we've well and truly proved That a lot of little bits together make up something huge So if you do a little bit don't be belittled by Those who do a lot of nothing that's in any way worthwhile Let's all get on with our little bits and let's take a little pride Knowing we are all a little bit of the future of man... And Dinosaur! ... and Dinosaur-kind! Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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The End... ? 02:34
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Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! (ah-oo, ah-oo, ah-oo) Dinosaur Planet! ( ah-oo) Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

about

A science fiction rock opera concept album about the return of the Dinosaurs from space... and much much more. "An indie War Of The Worlds" - CMU Daily. "Jeff Wayne has some new competition" - SFX Magazine. "You have to admire their nerve" - Word Magazine.

Visit the main webpage at www.dinosaurplanet.co.uk for albums, t-shirts and combo deals, free downloads and a whole world of extra information!

credits

released November 14, 2011

Recorded at The Snug Recording Company, Derby
Main dialogue session recorded at Dean Street Studios, London
Additional material recorded on location

Produced by Tom 'Tiger' McClure
Engineered by Richard Collins and Robin Newman
Arranged and played by MJ Hibbett & The Validators, who are:

MJ Hibbett – vocals, guitar, ukelele
Frankie Machine – bass, trumpet, guitar, banjo, vocals
Tom 'Tiger' McClure – violin, electric violin, strings, keyboards, vocals
Emma Pattison – vocals
Tim Pattison – drums, percussion, keyboards, vocals

Written by MJ Hibbett
All songs published by WipeOut Music

Artwork by John Allison (www.scarygoround.com)

To access a guide to playing all the songs and a complete script for the entire story go to www.dinosaurplanet.co.uk

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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