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released July 1, 2016

Made by MJ Hibbett, Frankie Machine, Tom ‘Tiger’ Mcclure, Emma Pattison and Tim Pattison with Richard Collins and Robin Newman at Snug Recording Company, Derby. All songs published by Wipeout Music.

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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Track Name: 20 Things To Do Before You're 30
Learn another language
Do a bungee jump
Sort out your pension
And love like nobody's ever loved
Swim with dolphins
Have a business of your own
Write a novel
Climb Mount Kilimanjaro

If you're under thirty
Lucky you
But I'd suggest your time's best spent
Not trying to improve

With 20 Things To Do Before You're 30
What a crock of shit
20 Things To Do Before You're 30
Here's a better bucket list

Smoke bananas
Fall asleep on a train
Get so drunk that you
Hallucinate
Go out with someone awful
Be friends with gits
Dye your hair, shave your head,
Go for lunch and come back pissed

Go to house parties
Get into debt
Take laxatives to try and lose weight
Smoke cigarettes in bed

20 Things To Do Before You're 30
This is not a plan
20 Things To Do Before You're 30
Options, not demands

Experiment with chilli sauce
Grow a beard
Wear a long black leather jacket
And pretend that you are weird
Set fire to the oven
Forget to do Christmas cards
Drink cocktails, go to Launderettes
And pay for milk with a credit card

'Cause when you're well past 30
And you look back
You don't want to be thinking how cool you were
You want to think "What a twat!"

20 Things To Do Before You're 30
This is not advice
20 Things To Do Before You're 30
'Cause in later life

You'll be busy eating shortbread
And collecting Allen Keys
If you're wide awake at 4am
You'll be going for a wee
You'll live in mortal fear
Of having to buy shoes
If you're seeing something at 10pm
It'll be the news

But whatever happens
You can relax
Safe in the knowledge that you don't have to do
Any of the crap

Of 20 Things To Do Before You're 30
No thanks, you're all right
20 Things To Do Before You're 30
No longer apply
20 Things To Do Before You're 30
Track Name: Can We Be Friends?
I only came here 'cause I thought I ought to
Standing at the bar, no-one I knew to talk to
I said "hello" to you because we met at that thing last year
Twenty minutes later we're still stood here
We only spoke for two ticks
But something clicked

Hey, can we be friends?
Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense
But this is not a thing I thought would happen again
That I'd say - hey hey
Can we be friends?

If we were teenagers we could join a gang
If we were in our twenties we could form a band
If we were in our thirties there'd be Pimms in marquees
I think I've finally seen the point of dinner parties
I don't want to sound weird
But do you fancy a beer?

Hey, can we be friends?
Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense
But this is not a thing I thought would happen again
That I'd say - hey hey
Can we be friends?

This is awkward, I know
The last time that it happened was a decade ago
But it feels like, at our age
You lose more people than you gain
So I say -

Hey, can we be friends?
Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense
But this is not a thing I thought would happen again
That I'd say - hey hey
Can we be -
Hey, can we be friends?
Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense
But this is not a thing I thought would happen again
That I'd say - hey hey
Can we be friends?
Can we be friends?
Track Name: That Guy
I heard a young woman say she liked the X-Men
Oh yes, I said, the films I assume?
It turns out she loved the Chris Claremont and John Byrne run
But her favourite character these days is Doop
Suddenly I saw myself standing in the rain
Masturbating in a skip

And I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be him

I went for a curry with people I worked with
I asked for a Balti and rice
They said they were sorry, they didn't do Balti
"Its South Indian cuisine - try a dosa, they're nice"
Suddenly I saw myself watching Top Gear
Eating English Breakfast from a can

And I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be him

When I talk to younger people I think of when
I was in my 20s and knew some middle-aged men
Leather jackets, pony-tails, at the back at gigs
They swim through my conscience like Kraken

Exams - if anything they're probably more difficult
Politicians - I doubt they're really all the same
Pop Music - it changes with every generation
If people my age like it is has failed

Suddenly I saw myself on BBC4
Comparing One Direction to Chaucer

And I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be that guy
I don't want to be him
But I am
Track Name: In The North Stand
In the 1970s my Grandad would come round
On occasional Saturdays to take me to the football ground
We would go to London Road
And we'd watch the Posh

Well I was only little so I never even thought
It was anything to do with my parents' divorce
But looking back upon it now I think I know
He was sharing a lot more than a packet of poloes

In the North Stand
With my Grandad
In the North Stand

Now London Road's the only place that has remained the same
Since those distant days when we would watch Trevor Quow play
But every time I go there now - smell the grass and hear the noise
I see what patch of wall that I'd be sat on as a boy

In the North Stand
With my Grandad
In the North Stand

So next time you see a football fan getting all sentimental
Don't judge him too harshly - be gentle
For though he may appear to be rowdy, rude and awful
A part of him is probably still sitting on a wall

In the North Stand
With his Grandad
In the North Stand
Track Name: Burn It Down And Start Again
Conference season's come around
Polluting all the seaside towns
A week of weirdoes, wonks and apparatchiks
While internecine wars are fought
The future of the country's bought
With whisky, wine and sausages on sticks
With well-rehearsed words from the stage
Hard-working families are praised
By people who've never worked a day

Every party all the same
Burn it down and start again
The establishment will never ever change
Pull down empires, kill the kings
Give us back our dignity
Burn it down and start over again
Burn it down and start over again

The cancer of the corporate press
Pervert their purpose to protect
The public from corruption by corrupting
And quisling schoolboys, dense as gold
Use futures that their parents stole
From other children to do nothing
Their gene pool is a gene puddle
Their contribution is sod all
The parasitic produce of the powered

Everybody all the same
Burn it down and start again
Society will never ever change
Pull down empires, kill the kings
Give us back our dignity
Burn it down and start over again
Burn it down and start over again

Every awful rumour that you ever heard is true
They all knew about it but they kept it quiet from you
Everything is rotten, the whole country's corrupt
The only thing that's left we can rely on
Is us

And above pubs the acronyms
Of every alphabet and wing
Are talking talking talking to themselves
One day they'll act, just not tonight
'Cause if they acted then they might
Be forced to find out if they've souls to sell
Far better to do nothing then
Far easier just to complain
Far simpler to write another song

Yes I know I'm just the same
Burn it down and start again
Singing songs will change a thing
Pull down empires, kill the kings
Give me back my dignity
Burn it down and start over again
Burn it down and start over again
Track Name: (You Make Me Feel) Soft Rock
When you hold my hand
As we leave the pub
Feels like we've left Leytonstone far behind
And we're walking in Hollywood
And when you smile at me
When I make the tea
When we get back home
I feel my denims rip
My t-shirt shrinks
And I've lost five stone

'Cause you make me want to punch the air
I might look like a wazzock but I don't care
Got a wind machine, amazing hair
You make me feel Soft Rock

Is this the 257
Or an F18?
Am I on a bike at the gym
Or on a silver dream machine?
And when we're sorting out the shopping list
Or you ring me up at lunch
I hear Fenders sing
And the things I think
Would make Prince blush

'Cause you make me want to punch the air
I might look like a wazzock but I don't care
Got a wind machine, amazing hair
You make me feel Soft Rock

Oh baby tonight we're gonna rock
We've got a half bottle of wine in the fridge
And Doc Marten on the Tivo box
Get the Pringles open
We're gonna have a crazy night
I'll do your hot water bottle
We'll have whisky in bed
And we'll listen to Radio 5

You make me want to punch the air
I might look like a wazzock but I don't care
Got a wind machine, amazing hair
You make me feel -

You make me want to punch the air
I might look like a wazzock but I don't care
Got a wind machine, amazing hair
You make me feel Soft Rock
Track Name: Hills And Hollows
We called them The Hills And Hollows
But they were mountain ranges to us
When you come from a land as flat as the fens
A hill's anything above sea level

Kerb Vertigo
Hill starts on a bridge
Waiting for trains at Tallington
A footpath by a ditch

Some yearn for cliffs and valleys
Or landmarks miles high
But I love a land where the spirit's level
And the skyline's full of sky

On the road from Deeping to Glinton
The steeples and trees and the dykes
Pass by along the horizon
In an orderly beautiful line

On the train into Peterborough
My heart soars at Stevenage
As the land lies low in my soul I know
It doesn't get bigger than this

Some yearn for cliffs and valleys
Or landmarks miles high
But I love a land where the spirit's level
And the skyline's full of sky
Track Name: The 1980s How It Was
Everything is dirty
Smoke and litter everywhere
Everything is broken
And no-one has washed their hair
Everybody's either very young
Or really old
Everyone looks poorly
And is wrapped up for the cold

This is the 1980s how it was
But it's not the version we are shown because

History's re-written by the people who did best from it
They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it
The clips on my TV
Are not the real 80s

Where are all the sports cars
All the shoulder pads and cash?
Where are Royal Weddings
And the children waving flags?
Where is all the glamour?
Where's Duran Duran?
Where's champagne and leg-warmers
The A-Team, Alf and Wham?

All the decadence and wealth
Must be somewhere else

'Cause History's re-written by the people who did best from it
They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it
The features on Buzzfeed
Are not the real 80s

I could not pick up MTV
Or solve the Rubik's cube
I spent my life revising
For exams I'd never use
But the main things I remember
Were being really bored
And knowing I was bound to die
In a nuclear war

That was the 1980s how it was
But it's not the story Tories tell because

History's re-written by the people who did best from it
They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it
The pictures that you tweet
Are not the real 80s

Club Tropicana's closed
The Blitz Club's boarded up
They've all gone to the Falklands
With the money and the drugs
And I am left to wonder
As the smell of hair spray fades
What story will the future
One day say about today?
Track Name: I Want To Find Out How It Ends
If I had a time machine
I wouldn't want to go
To the Mesozoic
All I really want to know
Is what is to become of me?
What happens to my friends?
To put it succinctly
I want to find out how it ends

I want to find out how it ends
I want to see what happens next
I want to go back to the start
And maybe watch it all again
Don't want to ever have to sit
Through another boring bit
Don't want an album what I want
Is the Greatest Hits
I want to find out how it ends

I'll find a future Wikipedia
With a precis of my life
Then go through on fast forward
So I just get the highlights
No need to sit through Tuesdays
Never have a hangover ever again
Why bother with the padding
When you know how it all ends?

I want to find out how it ends
I want to see what happens next
I want to go back to the start
And maybe watch it all again
Don't want to ever have to sit
Through another boring bit
Don't want an album what I want
Is the Greatest Hits
I want to find out how it ends

But I know what you're going to say
Obviously
What about strolls and Sunday afternoons
Sat drinking tea?
I'll say that I have thought of that
They're things I plan to do
The main thing I'll be missing out
Is listening to you

I want to find out how it ends
I want to see what happens next
I want to go back to the start
And maybe watch it all again
Don't want to ever have to sit
Through another boring bit
Don't want an album what I want
Is the Greatest Hits
I want to find out how it ends
I want to see what happens next
I want to go back to the start
And maybe watch it all again
Don't want to ever have to sit
Through another boring bit
Don't want an album what I want
Is the Greatest Hits
I want to find out how it ends
I want to find out how it ends
Track Name: We Did It Anyway
We never won an award
We never got on the news
We weren't the talk of the town
We never got a review
No photography shoots
For the cover of a fashion magazine
And if you take a look in the record books
You won't find me

Everything that we've done
Has been roundly ignored
By the makers of taste
And the style reports
In a time yet to come
When they're writing the history
Of the human race, there'll be no trace
Of you and me

But we did it anyway
We were unaware
Much too busy having fun
To know that no-one cared

'Cause you know, we did have some fun
And we did have some laughs
In fact a lot of them were
The best times I ever had
All the places we went
Everything that we did and we said
It’s amazing to think of all the dancing and drink
And all the people we met

And we did it anyway
Just because we could
If I could have that time again
You know what? I bloody would!

So you can stuff your awards
Forget the fame and the wealth
'Cause you know I wouldn't swap
This life for anything else
Who needs a glowing review?
Don’t bother asking for exclusive interviews
I don’t need to have a lot of medals and cash
When I’ve got friends like you

And we'll still do it anyway
Just because it’s good
We don’t need the approval
Of anyone

We'll still do it anyway
And it will be great
Who cares if no-one ever knows?
We’ll do it anyway
We’ll do it anyway
We’ll do it anyway