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mark glanville Another cracking album from The Validators! Comfortingly amusing and thought-provoking folk that examines all sorts from sociopolitical history to geology. As ever with MJ Hibbett, the underlying theme is one of "calm down, be nice and enjoy the world".

It's not often you get a joke in a song that doesn't involve any words. I laughed out loud for a good 20 seconds while listening to 'Soft Rock'. Favorite track: That Guy.
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1.
Learn another language Do a bungee jump Sort out your pension And love like nobody's ever loved Swim with dolphins Have a business of your own Write a novel Climb Mount Kilimanjaro If you're under thirty Lucky you But I'd suggest your time's best spent Not trying to improve With 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 What a crock of shit 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 Here's a better bucket list Smoke bananas Fall asleep on a train Get so drunk that you Hallucinate Go out with someone awful Be friends with gits Dye your hair, shave your head, Go for lunch and come back pissed Go to house parties Get into debt Take laxatives to try and lose weight Smoke cigarettes in bed 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 This is not a plan 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 Options, not demands Experiment with chilli sauce Grow a beard Wear a long black leather jacket And pretend that you are weird Set fire to the oven Forget to do Christmas cards Drink cocktails, go to Launderettes And pay for milk with a credit card 'Cause when you're well past 30 And you look back You don't want to be thinking how cool you were You want to think "What a twat!" 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 This is not advice 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 'Cause in later life You'll be busy eating shortbread And collecting Allen Keys If you're wide awake at 4am You'll be going for a wee You'll live in mortal fear Of having to buy shoes If you're seeing something at 10pm It'll be the news But whatever happens You can relax Safe in the knowledge that you don't have to do Any of the crap Of 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 No thanks, you're all right 20 Things To Do Before You're 30 No longer apply 20 Things To Do Before You're 30
2.
I only came here 'cause I thought I ought to Standing at the bar, no-one I knew to talk to I said "hello" to you because we met at that thing last year Twenty minutes later we're still stood here We only spoke for two ticks But something clicked Hey, can we be friends? Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense But this is not a thing I thought would happen again That I'd say - hey hey Can we be friends? If we were teenagers we could join a gang If we were in our twenties we could form a band If we were in our thirties there'd be Pimms in marquees I think I've finally seen the point of dinner parties I don't want to sound weird But do you fancy a beer? Hey, can we be friends? Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense But this is not a thing I thought would happen again That I'd say - hey hey Can we be friends? This is awkward, I know The last time that it happened was a decade ago But it feels like, at our age You lose more people than you gain So I say - Hey, can we be friends? Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense But this is not a thing I thought would happen again That I'd say - hey hey Can we be - Hey, can we be friends? Sorry if it seems like I'm not making sense But this is not a thing I thought would happen again That I'd say - hey hey Can we be friends? Can we be friends?
3.
That Guy 02:47
I heard a young woman say she liked the X-Men Oh yes, I said, the films I assume? It turns out she loved the Chris Claremont and John Byrne run But her favourite character these days is Doop Suddenly I saw myself standing in the rain Masturbating in a skip And I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be him I went for a curry with people I worked with I asked for a Balti and rice They said they were sorry, they didn't do Balti "Its South Indian cuisine - try a dosa, they're nice" Suddenly I saw myself watching Top Gear Eating English Breakfast from a can And I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be him When I talk to younger people I think of when I was in my 20s and knew some middle-aged men Leather jackets, pony-tails, at the back at gigs They swim through my conscience like Kraken Exams - if anything they're probably more difficult Politicians - I doubt they're really all the same Pop Music - it changes with every generation If people my age like it is has failed Suddenly I saw myself on BBC4 Comparing One Direction to Chaucer And I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be that guy I don't want to be him But I am
4.
In the 1970s my Grandad would come round On occasional Saturdays to take me to the football ground We would go to London Road And we'd watch the Posh Well I was only little so I never even thought It was anything to do with my parents' divorce But looking back upon it now I think I know He was sharing a lot more than a packet of poloes In the North Stand With my Grandad In the North Stand Now London Road's the only place that has remained the same Since those distant days when we would watch Trevor Quow play But every time I go there now - smell the grass and hear the noise I see what patch of wall that I'd be sat on as a boy In the North Stand With my Grandad In the North Stand So next time you see a football fan getting all sentimental Don't judge him too harshly - be gentle For though he may appear to be rowdy, rude and awful A part of him is probably still sitting on a wall In the North Stand With his Grandad In the North Stand
5.
Conference season's come around Polluting all the seaside towns A week of weirdoes, wonks and apparatchiks While internecine wars are fought The future of the country's bought With whisky, wine and sausages on sticks With well-rehearsed words from the stage Hard-working families are praised By people who've never worked a day Every party all the same Burn it down and start again The establishment will never ever change Pull down empires, kill the kings Give us back our dignity Burn it down and start over again Burn it down and start over again The cancer of the corporate press Pervert their purpose to protect The public from corruption by corrupting And quisling schoolboys, dense as gold Use futures that their parents stole From other children to do nothing Their gene pool is a gene puddle Their contribution is sod all The parasitic produce of the powered Everybody all the same Burn it down and start again Society will never ever change Pull down empires, kill the kings Give us back our dignity Burn it down and start over again Burn it down and start over again Every awful rumour that you ever heard is true They all knew about it but they kept it quiet from you Everything is rotten, the whole country's corrupt The only thing that's left we can rely on Is us And above pubs the acronyms Of every alphabet and wing Are talking talking talking to themselves One day they'll act, just not tonight 'Cause if they acted then they might Be forced to find out if they've souls to sell Far better to do nothing then Far easier just to complain Far simpler to write another song Yes I know I'm just the same Burn it down and start again Singing songs will change a thing Pull down empires, kill the kings Give me back my dignity Burn it down and start over again Burn it down and start over again
6.
When you hold my hand As we leave the pub Feels like we've left Leytonstone far behind And we're walking in Hollywood And when you smile at me When I make the tea When we get back home I feel my denims rip My t-shirt shrinks And I've lost five stone 'Cause you make me want to punch the air I might look like a wazzock but I don't care Got a wind machine, amazing hair You make me feel Soft Rock Is this the 257 Or an F18? Am I on a bike at the gym Or on a silver dream machine? And when we're sorting out the shopping list Or you ring me up at lunch I hear Fenders sing And the things I think Would make Prince blush 'Cause you make me want to punch the air I might look like a wazzock but I don't care Got a wind machine, amazing hair You make me feel Soft Rock Oh baby tonight we're gonna rock We've got a half bottle of wine in the fridge And Doc Marten on the Tivo box Get the Pringles open We're gonna have a crazy night I'll do your hot water bottle We'll have whisky in bed And we'll listen to Radio 5 You make me want to punch the air I might look like a wazzock but I don't care Got a wind machine, amazing hair You make me feel - You make me want to punch the air I might look like a wazzock but I don't care Got a wind machine, amazing hair You make me feel Soft Rock
7.
We called them The Hills And Hollows But they were mountain ranges to us When you come from a land as flat as the fens A hill's anything above sea level Kerb Vertigo Hill starts on a bridge Waiting for trains at Tallington A footpath by a ditch Some yearn for cliffs and valleys Or landmarks miles high But I love a land where the spirit's level And the skyline's full of sky On the road from Deeping to Glinton The steeples and trees and the dykes Pass by along the horizon In an orderly beautiful line On the train into Peterborough My heart soars at Stevenage As the land lies low in my soul I know It doesn't get bigger than this Some yearn for cliffs and valleys Or landmarks miles high But I love a land where the spirit's level And the skyline's full of sky
8.
Everything is dirty Smoke and litter everywhere Everything is broken And no-one has washed their hair Everybody's either very young Or really old Everyone looks poorly And is wrapped up for the cold This is the 1980s how it was But it's not the version we are shown because History's re-written by the people who did best from it They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it The clips on my TV Are not the real 80s Where are all the sports cars All the shoulder pads and cash? Where are Royal Weddings And the children waving flags? Where is all the glamour? Where's Duran Duran? Where's champagne and leg-warmers The A-Team, Alf and Wham? All the decadence and wealth Must be somewhere else 'Cause History's re-written by the people who did best from it They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it The features on Buzzfeed Are not the real 80s I could not pick up MTV Or solve the Rubik's cube I spent my life revising For exams I'd never use But the main things I remember Were being really bored And knowing I was bound to die In a nuclear war That was the 1980s how it was But it's not the story Tories tell because History's re-written by the people who did best from it They reinforce the bits they liked and then erase the rest of it The pictures that you tweet Are not the real 80s Club Tropicana's closed The Blitz Club's boarded up They've all gone to the Falklands With the money and the drugs And I am left to wonder As the smell of hair spray fades What story will the future One day say about today?
9.
If I had a time machine I wouldn't want to go To the Mesozoic All I really want to know Is what is to become of me? What happens to my friends? To put it succinctly I want to find out how it ends I want to find out how it ends I want to see what happens next I want to go back to the start And maybe watch it all again Don't want to ever have to sit Through another boring bit Don't want an album what I want Is the Greatest Hits I want to find out how it ends I'll find a future Wikipedia With a precis of my life Then go through on fast forward So I just get the highlights No need to sit through Tuesdays Never have a hangover ever again Why bother with the padding When you know how it all ends? I want to find out how it ends I want to see what happens next I want to go back to the start And maybe watch it all again Don't want to ever have to sit Through another boring bit Don't want an album what I want Is the Greatest Hits I want to find out how it ends But I know what you're going to say Obviously What about strolls and Sunday afternoons Sat drinking tea? I'll say that I have thought of that They're things I plan to do The main thing I'll be missing out Is listening to you I want to find out how it ends I want to see what happens next I want to go back to the start And maybe watch it all again Don't want to ever have to sit Through another boring bit Don't want an album what I want Is the Greatest Hits I want to find out how it ends I want to see what happens next I want to go back to the start And maybe watch it all again Don't want to ever have to sit Through another boring bit Don't want an album what I want Is the Greatest Hits I want to find out how it ends I want to find out how it ends
10.
We never won an award We never got on the news We weren't the talk of the town We never got a review No photography shoots For the cover of a fashion magazine And if you take a look in the record books You won't find me Everything that we've done Has been roundly ignored By the makers of taste And the style reports In a time yet to come When they're writing the history Of the human race, there'll be no trace Of you and me But we did it anyway We were unaware Much too busy having fun To know that no-one cared 'Cause you know, we did have some fun And we did have some laughs In fact a lot of them were The best times I ever had All the places we went Everything that we did and we said It’s amazing to think of all the dancing and drink And all the people we met And we did it anyway Just because we could If I could have that time again You know what? I bloody would! So you can stuff your awards Forget the fame and the wealth 'Cause you know I wouldn't swap This life for anything else Who needs a glowing review? Don’t bother asking for exclusive interviews I don’t need to have a lot of medals and cash When I’ve got friends like you And we'll still do it anyway Just because it’s good We don’t need the approval Of anyone We'll still do it anyway And it will be great Who cares if no-one ever knows? We’ll do it anyway We’ll do it anyway We’ll do it anyway

credits

released July 1, 2016

Made by MJ Hibbett, Frankie Machine, Tom ‘Tiger’ Mcclure, Emma Pattison and Tim Pattison with Richard Collins and Robin Newman at Snug Recording Company, Derby. All songs published by Wipeout Music.

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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