Wonderful Wednesday

by MJ Hibbett

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about

All of these songs were written and recorded during February Album Writing Month 2011 at home on my four-track. I slightly remixed a couple of them when it was all over, but they're basically AS IS from the day they were each written... which is why there's the occasional bit of JAZZ TUNING to some of the vocals!

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released April 4, 2011

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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Track Name: Wonderful Wednesday
On wednesdays I work from home
I get so much more done on my own
Like my laundry
And cooking the tea

I back my files up each month
And have a fry up for my lunch
On a Wednesday

Work emails, click refresh
Once an hour, just to check
Prove I'm striving
By replying

I'll do some ironing after that
At three o'clock I'll have a bath
On a Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday

When I was young I used to wonder
How do people manage their work load?
How do they ensure that there is just enough to do all day
And not too much to stop them going home

Now I know


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: I'm Completely Up To Date
I've emptied out my inbox
I've replied to all my texts
I've gone through and responded
To all my facebook requests

I've retweeted where required
I have answered my DMs
I've even looked at Myspace
For the first time since 2010

And I think it's safe to say
I'm completely up to date

I have browsed through message boards
And I have googled my own name
Briefly read the news and then
Googled myself again

I've deleted my spam folder
Brought my bookmarks up to date
Did a back-up, cleared my cache and then
Googled myself again

And I think it's safe to say
I'm completely up to date
And I think it's safe to say
I'm completely up to date

It's really rather beautiful
It's really rather nice
Nobody requires of me
An answer or reply

Everything is tranquil
Everything's at peace
No-one needs to interact
With me

And if you look I think you'll find
I am bored out of my mind


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: A Difficult Age
Leave me here at home
I'll stay all on my own
I'll only get in the way
Of the fun you'll have at the family day
So leave me here at home

And maybe it's this difficult age
But I feel a little ill today

I'll go to my room and hide
Until I hear the car leave the drive
Then I'll slip downstairs to play
Four or five hours of computer games
With no-one to take turns with I'm so happy I could smile

Pausing only once or twice
To indulge my only vice:
Cheese and salad cream sandwiches

In the living room on the big TV
From half past ten to half past three
You'll never know I was there
I'll be packed up back up stairs
Draped across my bed I'll be pretending to be asleep

And maybe it's this difficult age
But I've had a rather wonderful day
With cheese and salad cream sandwiches



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Touch Wood
I saw a penny
I picked it up
I can't say that I've noticed
Any Extra good luck

Or maybe it's been protecting me all day
Maybe I was due to be knocked down by a train
Perhaps I should have been ripped apart by wolves
I think I'll keep on picking pennies up

Touch wood - that's just my luck
Touch wood - that's just my luck

I ate an apple
Every day
I'm not sure that it ever kept
The doctor away

But perhaps it's been stopping me from getting sick
Perhaps my spine was due to break or my legs split
It could be I've been poisoned and I never knew
I guess I'd better keep consuming the fruit

Touch wood - that's just my luck
Touch wood - that's just my luck

I was early to bed
I was early to rise
I'm not sure if I'm healthy, or wealthy
Or wise

But I've got a penny, that's something, yes?
And an apple to I've not eaten yet
So I'll make a decision I doubt I'll regret
Goodnight all, I'm off back to bed

Touch wood - that's just my luck
Touch wood - that's just my luck




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Not Yet
Like a poker through the butter
Every time your name is uttered
I melt

Like a drunk when streets are wet
The very first time our eyes met
I fell

Like a man without a pension
Every time your name is mentioned
I get nervous for the future

Or the owner of a boutique
Who is dazzled by your beauty
What I've got is bound to suit you

Like a band who've joined myspace
I'm about three years too late
To think that you could be my friend

But like a grandma scared of flying
I'll just have to keep on trying
If I'm to see you again

Like a poker player bluffing
It looks like I'm doing nothing
But my brain is at full stretch

And like a minor left wing faction
One day I'll spring into action
Just not yet


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Just One Finger
Just one finger
You only need a finger
Just one finger
To play this song

You can be the singer
Or you can clap along
It doesn't really matter
It isn't very long

You could use a tentacle
Or you could use your nose
You could even use a trunk
If you've got one of those

But just one finger
You only need a finger
Just one finger
To play this song

If you're feeling clever
You can use two
You don't have to move your hand
This is what you do

But if you don't want to
You can stick with one
You only need a finger
To play this song

Just one finger
You only need a finger
Just one finger
To play this song

You can be the singer
Or you can clap along
It doesn't really matter
It isn't very long



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: They Hate Me
Sometimes I'm in front of a crowd
And I see someone walking out
There might be many reasons
They could leave
But all that I can think is
They hate me

Sometimes I'm singing at a gig
The audience, for me's, quite big
It's great till suddenly
I see someone leave
And all that I can think is
They hate me


And I know that usually
It isn't that
And most times that it happens
They'll come back


I know that sometimes they just need a wee




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Let's Network
Alan was an astronaut
He went where no-one's been before
He charted outer space

He saw things man's not mean to see
Met people who weren't human beings
An ambassador for the human race

But Alan had to face it
Too long spent within a space ship
Can become a little dull

Aliens get kind of same-y
You can have too much space ladies
Asking the meaning of love
This strange emotion

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth
His brother Robin went to work
With a smile on his face
He also worked in space, of sorts
He filled containers up at ports
And sent them on their way

But unlike his little brother
He knew lots and lots of other
Shippers working at the docks
It can make a lot of difference
He told Alan, just to mingle
With people with the same job

Let's network
Let's cross-pollinate
Let's meet at conferences
Let's network
Let's collaborate
And spread best practices

Alan took these words to heart
And signed up for a seminar
Maximising Time In Time And Space

Later at the drinks reception
With delegates from the next dimension
He got into a heated debate

They said love was just a myth
Such emotions don't exist
It's just a silly human word

Alan's experience was useful
In demonstrating love is truthful
By the morning the concurred
Let's have the next conference on Earth!

Let's network
Let's cross-pollinate
Let's meet at conferences
Let's network
Let's collaborate
And spread best practices

Sadly for the human race
They told the universe
Every creature from the whole of space
Descended on earth

They wanted love, but luckily enough
It turns out that the alien translation
For love's the universal need
For storage that is stacked at speed
And efficient transportation

Now Robin is the King of the World

Let's network
Let's cross-pollinate
Let's meet at conferences
Let's network
Let's collaborate
And spread best practices


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: An Antidote To Cloning
Professor Peter Probersite, Professor of Space Physics, looked askance at his colleague. What's the reason? This is.

Doctor Darren Dedicoat of the Genetics Department was showing him the results of his new experiment.

"Behold, I've made a perfect clone - a replica human being"

Professor Peter Probersite could not believe what he was seeing. "I hope this is a prototype," he muttered, looking worried.

"Why no, this is the 59th," said Darren, "I was in a hurry. And look in here, there's thousands more. They'll make me loads of money!"

The Prof said, "Hang on, is it me or do those clones look angry?"

Smashing out of their test tubes the Army of clones wake up and with a look of violence they march upon their maker.

"Run", they yelled, in unison but their escape was thwarted. Somehow the lab door had been locked - their plan to flee, aborted.

"We're doomed" they screamed, then suddenly Darren had an idea. "But do I have the right?" he pondered as the first wave of clones drew near.

"We're scientists", said Probersite, "Philosophy be blasted!"

"All right" said Dedicoat "it's time to end this where it started"

He dashed upstair to a room where a sealed beaker was displayed. He smashed it and, in tears, shouted "God forgive what I do today!"

The clones upon the stairs were first to fall as the gas struck them and down below their fellow clones soon joined them in the fallen. "An antidote to cloning - I thought this might be useful" said Doctor Darren Dedicoat. "So functional, so brutal."

He looked around for his colleague and suddenly he saw Professor Peter Probersite lay dead upon the floor. He looked up and, through a window, saw himself shaking his head. Doctor Dedicoat realised... and then he fell down dead.

The moral of the story's this: those academics weren't alone. Watch out for cloning antidotes, you too could be a cloooooooooooooojd983

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1




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Is It Time To Go Home Now?
Is it time to go home now?
Is it time to pack up?
Is it time to go and wash the cups and saucers?
I've had enough

Is it time to get my coat on?
Is it time to shut down
Is it time to say that I'll see you tomorrow?
I want to go home now

I've more than had enough of working
I'm tired of answering the phone
I've had my fill of sitting in the office
I want to go home

The central heating hasn't broken
The ceiling has not collapsed
The mainframe in the basement hasn't caught fire
For once the network's not crashed

The boss has not been down to see us
To tell us that we're free to go
There hasn't even been a little bomb scare
That means we might as well go home

I've more than had enough of working
I'm tired of answering the phone
I've had my fill of sitting in the office
I want to go home

It feels as if I have been sat here
At least three weeks, maybe a month
I can't believe it's only twenty past eleven
I think I'll have an early lunch

When I get back I'll have a quick go
At tower defense
I'll maybe browse some links on b3ta
Read Richard Herring and then

I'll have look at wikipedia
And find some things I didn't know
When I look up I'll find it's gone five o'clock and
Everyone has gone home

They'd more than had enough of working
That's why no-one's ringing my phone
I'm the only one still sitting in the office
I'm here on my own

I've more than had enough of working
I'm tired of answering the phone
I've had my fill of sitting in the office
I'm going home




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: A Little Bit Excited
I think we've all got...

Just a little bit excited
So let's calm down
We're all a little bit excited
Deep breaths all round
I know it's all been quite exciting
But if we don't relax
Things'll go from bad to worse
Someone might get hurt
And we can't have that

Now let's take a little minute
To all be quiet
Because it's like we're in the middle
Of a full scale riot
Sit yourself down on the carpet
Or if you're outside
Put your bottom on the ground
Or even just lie down
And close your eyes

Everybody say "Ah"
Everybody say "Ooh"
Everybody say "Me"
Everybody say "Snooze"

Everybody say "La da da da da"
Everybody say "Dee dee dee dee dee"
Everybody say "Doo-be-doo-be doo"
Sing along with me m-me me-me

"La da da da da"
"Doo-be-doo-be doo"
"Dee dee dee dee dee"
Try and do it quietly

LA LA LALA LALALA
DOO-DOO-BE-DOO DOO-BE DOO
DEE DEE DEEDEE DEE DEE DEE
BANG BA-DA BANG BANG BANG

Now - i think we've all got...

Just a little bit excited
So let's calm down
We're all a little bit excited
Deep breaths all round
I know it's all been quite exciting
But try and relax
Let's just try and say hello
And see how we go
After that

Hello!


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: (Really Nearly) Lunchtime
Sainsbury's or Tesco
Local Sandwich shop or Pret
Subway, Wagamama
Where'm I gonna go to get
Something nice to eat
I wish that I'd packed something up
It's getting near the time
For me to go and get my lunch

Yes it's getting nearly lunchtime
'Cos it's really nearly lunchtime
'Cos it's really nearly lunchtime
And I'm gonna have some lunch

My stomach's been a-rumbling
For about an hour or three
Was that a lorry going by?
No sorry, that was me
I might have fruit for afters
I might have a can of pop
Maybe a pot of pasta
Or a bap or roll or cob

Because it's getting nearly lunchtime
Yes it's really nearly lunchtime
Yes it's really nearly lunchtime
And I'm gonna have some lunch

If it's sunny I'll go out and I'll sit on a bench
If it isn't I'll come back and eat at my desk

And now that lunchtime's over
I've got lots of things to do
My appetite is sated
For the entire afternoon
But if look distracted
There's a question bugging me
What I want to know is
What are we having for tea?

Because it's getting nearly tea-time
Yes it's really nearly tea-time
Yes it's really nearly tea-time
And I'm gonna have some tea
I'm gonna have some tea
I'm really gonna have my tea
I'm really gonna have my tea
What are we having for tea?



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Skies That Smile
Slide past Stevenage
See the landscape flattening
Feel the fens draw in
Skies that smile for miles

Trees outline the land
Distant steeples beckoning
Dykes in lines like maps
Skies that smile for miles

You can keep the hills
Cliffs and valleys, not for me
Take me to a place
With skies that smile for miles




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: I'm Saying Yes
So, I've been getting quite excited about the referendum on the Alternative Vote
And I've been investigating the arguments of the campaign that's saying "No"
They say that it'll increase extremism
Which is a total lie
And it'll end single party strong governance
And to be honest that's partly why

I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
And I don't care if that pleases Nick Clegg
I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
Representative democracy will last long after he's dead

Now, they're telling us it's too complicated
Because they think that we're all thick
The explanation's peasy
In fact, here it is:
All the votes are counted and if no-one gets fifty per cent
They re-allocate the votes of the person who came last to the second choices, then
Keep doing that until someone gets at least half the vote
Apologies if the incredible complexity of that made your mind blow

I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
And I don't care if that pleases Nick Clegg
I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
Representative democracy will last long after he's dead


And we'll get a fairer say in who we want for our MPs
A chance of second votes mean that they'll have to broaden their appeal
Yeah, and we can vote for parties who we'd ideally want to win first
And then I guess second for those who've got a chance and seem to be the least worst
I know it's not proportional, and I know it's not the best
But it's the only chance to change it that we're ever likely to get
And if you think the results are gonna be be boring - think of this:
Now they'll all come in on Friday afternoons, so we've got a weekend on the piss

I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
And I don't care if that pleases Nick Clegg
I'm saying yes - I'm saying yes
Representative democracy will last long after he's dead




Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing