Get all 30 MJ Hibbett & The Validators releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Oadby Wonky Knobby, Bad Back (Osteopaths Of Glory Mix) (single), The Unearthly Beauty Of, The Swingin' Sound Of Sixties Marvel, Goodbye To Great Britain (single), I Don't Have To Worry About That (EP), A Museum Of One Thing (single), People Are All Right (EP), and 22 more.
1. |
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I was a bin-man
I was a road sweeper
I worked in shops
Between the terms
Then I found prosperity
In Epidemiology
I am the nice young man
On the ground floor
When I was a boy I used to dread
The very idea of getting out of bed
To go to work to earn a wage
But now I find I've reached an age
Where getting up is almost easy
(Though I've never got used to it)
And once you get there you get you get a nice cup of tea
And plenty of time to drink it
Because work's all right when it's a proper job
Don't be put off by a holiday job
Because work's all right when it's a proper job
You can have a lot of fun
Sat at your desk talking to someone who
Could be up to thirty years older than you
Play with your email, swapping the goss
Sit around for hours and bitch about the boss
And though they may force you to wear a shirt
And waste the best part of the day
Suggesting that you might do some work
Well, at least you're getting paid
Because work's all right when it's a proper job
Don't be put off by a saturday job
Because work's all right when it's a proper job
You can have a lot of fun
Nicking bits of stationary
Getting pissed at the Christmas party
Looking forward to the weekend
Maybe even making a few new friends
Getting up is still not easy
And I'll never get used to it
But when I'm there I get a nice cup of tea
And plenty of time to drink it
Yeah work's all right when it's a proper job
Don't be put off by a holiday job
Because work's all right when it's a proper job
You can have a cup of tea
Have a cup of tea for me
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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2. |
Clubbing In The Week
02:32
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On a Monday in the Midlands there's not a lot to do
The bar has finished serving they're getting rid of you
You turn round to your friends and say
"I don't exactly know, but i really want to boogie and there's one place we could go"
Let's go Clubbing In The Week
We can have too much to drink
Have a dance and stay out late
We're going Clubbing In The Week and it'll be GRATE!
Yeah!
Everybody in there looks like they are half your age
But you are feeling groovy, there's no need to be ashamed
Your friends ask what you're doing and you give them the answer
"I'm The Greatest Dancer."
Let's go Clubbing In The Week
We can have too much to drink
Have a dance and stay out late
We're going Clubbing In The Week and it'll be GRATE!
Yeah!
Do you remember when we'd do this all the time?
When we were students we'd go out every night
But now we'll get a cab and try to forget
That in four hours' time we'll have to get out of bed.
Yeah yeah!
So you climb up off the floor and drag yourself into work
With piss-stains on your trousers and vomit on your shirt
Everybody says to you "Good God, you look like death!
I bet you won't do that again!" and you say "YEAH!"
I'll go dancing in the week
I will have too much too drink
Have a dance and stay out late
I love Clubbing In The Week because because going clubbing's BLOODY GRATE."
Clubbing In The week because going Clubbing In The Week is GRATE
Yeah yeah!
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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3. |
Fucking Hippy
02:40
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I can't believe the things that you come out with
Did you leave your brains in a cheese and pickle sandwich?
What makes you think that you can speak for us
When everything you say is so boring and obvious?
If you're so telepathic, why don't you leave?
You're breathing the air i intended to breath
You fucking hippy, with your paranoid neuroses
You say that you're concerned about the world and its resources
Let's help get rid of some waste
We'll dump you in the ocean in a locked up metal case
If you can see things so very very clearly
Why are you so unutterably dreary?
You hippy, with your whimsical delusion
That if you grow your hair you can start the revolution
The Establishment's aquake
They know as well as i do that you're a fucking fake
You believe in love and peace
But you hate your friends and insist on eating meat
You fucking hippy, you cannot change society
By banging on about drugs and then going to a party
If you want to cause a change
I think it might be handy if you held onto your brains
It's no longer a joke
The world dissolves in poverty while you go up in smoke
You fucking hippy
You hypocrite
You fucking hippy
You are a hypocrite
You fucking hippy
You are a hypocrite
You fucking hippy
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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4. |
Red And White Sockets
02:44
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I had a ghetto blaster
It lived in the kitchen on top of the fridge
And though it wasn't very good it was good enough for me
Well one week it breathed its last
So i took a chance and took it down
To take a glance at the back
And when I did that what do you think i could see?
I saw red and white sockets on the back to plug a hi-fi in.
Now what on earth's the point of that?
I loved my ghetto blaster but i knew it was crap
It was never gonna form the basis of a modern hi-fi system
It's like a band that uses strings
For no other reason than Oasis did
Like a pretty bitty baby with a big man's drink
Like a lad who washes lorries in a kitchen sink
Like red and white sockets on the back to plug a hi-fi in
Red and white, red and white, red and white sockets
Red and white, red and white, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets on the back to plug a hi-fi in
Well i failed to see the metaphor
A tape deck with pretensions was all that i saw
And it wasn't until later that the truth bore down on me
Because i went to take a litte bath
And as i lay back in the bath i felt discomfort on my back
And when i looked into the mirror what do you think i could see?
I saw red white sockets on my back to plug a hi-fi in
Red and white sockets stuck to the back of me
Saying red and white, red and white, red and white sockets
Red and white, red and white, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets, red and white sockets
Red and white sockets on the back to plug a hi-fi in
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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5. |
Another True Story
02:48
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I took the keys out of my jeans and put them in my shoe
I lay back on my sleeping bag and swiftly thought of you
And as I lay in my bed
A plane flew overhead
Taking you away
A sunny day at Glastonbury as we sat on the grass
Passing round a readymade and starting to laugh
Then you turned up late
I thought you were GRATE
And you didn't mind me
I said "I'll see you later when the next band has been on"
You said "Yeah, i'll meet you there, and please don't be too long"
But I got waylaid
By the time I got backstage
You had been and gone
I got my friends to look for you, we covered the whole site
We searched until the time had past for you to catch your flight
You had to fly away
To the USA
I wish you could have stayed
I took the keys out of my jeans and put them in my shoe
I lay back in my sleeping bag and swiftly thought of you
And as I lay in my bed
A plane flew overhead
Taking you away
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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6. |
The Perfect Love Song
01:46
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He needed reasons to keep living
She needed someone she could love
He needed something to believe in
She lived on the floor above
He listened to the Sunday Service
Pumping down through the plasterboard
She came to know his taste in music
And recognised the way he snored
All of a sudden nothing happened
Out of the blue they didn't meet
He never came to borrow coffee
She never dropped her shopping round his feet
Theirs could have been the perfect love song
What a shame they never met
He got run over by a milk float
She went to live in Somerset
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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7. |
We'll See What We Can Do
01:57
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There's someone we think that you should meet
She'll be right up your street
She's desperate just like you
We'll see what we can do
She hasn't really got a life
But she's an old friend of the wife
We thought you'd approve
We'll see what we can do
Two odd buttons in a kitchen drawer
Two sore losers in a no-score draw
Two old batteries that have no use
Me and you
We'll see what we can do
Me and you
We'll see what we can do
We are the anti-socials
We are the non-league hopefuls
We are when we are me and you
We'll see what we can do
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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8. |
Ring Your Mother
02:27
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No-one seems to need her anymore
Left behind at closing time when the landlord locks the door
You used to see her every day, but now you never call
No-one seems to need her anymore
No-one seems to want her anymore
Discarded like a gift-shop bracelet at midnight on the shore
Like a single shoe on a garden wall or the shirt you never wore
No-one seems to need her anymore
And you might say she's being foolish
I don't know
But you should see her point of view
And you should treat her better
You may be gone but you're not forgotten
You don't have to say you love her
But you ought to ring your mother
Cos she doesn't think you need her anymore
Now that you know how to clean your own bedroom floor
You can see where she gets her ideas from, you should put her straight
She doesn't think you love her anymore
Ring your mother
She doesn't think you love her anymore
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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9. |
Mr Right
01:41
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She looks upon you as a brother
You are the person she can trust
You'd like to think she'll be your lover
You look on her with unbridled lust
Every time she loses a boyfriend
You hope her eyes will alight on you
But every time she loses a boyfriend
Some other bugger jumps the queue
What can you do to make her listen
When every time she turns away
It never seems to be the right conditions
For you to say what you mean to say
She always said that all that she wanted
Was Mr Right to always care
Maybe one day she will realise
Her Mr Right was always there.
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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10. |
Friday 13
01:45
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Well if I remember rightly
I was born on a Friday
Thirteen's my lucky number
It's lucky I remember
And if my house was by the rail track
Maybe you would come back
I'd be down there with the trains
Impressing the policeman with my brains
And you'll find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
It's a phase I am going through
Hell
A titanic at the bottom of the ocean
I'm so afraid I'm only going through the motions
Well if i could spell your name right
Maybe you'd give me the green light
But as it is i don't know where i stand
I never take off without a safe place to land
And you'll find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
It's a phase I am going through
Hell
A titanic at the bottom of the ocean
I'm so afraid I'm only going through the motions
Find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
I'm going through hell
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11. |
Before I Was Cool
01:53
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I met an old friend in Paris
She laughed to see the change in me
Through years of beards and waistcoats, lennon specs and pubs
I changed my attitude and the way i looked, but
She knew me then, when we were at school
She knew me before i was cool
We talked of festivals and bands
Record contracts, reefers and a conference in France
But all she saw was a boy sat reading quietly on his own
Humming the tuneful ZX Spectrum loading tone, because
She knew me then, when we were at school
She knew me before i was cool
But does it matter anyway?
What matters is the man i am today
Not the boy that i was then
I may not be a superstar
I don't even know how to drive a car
But at least i have got friends
So i will put away the past
Because i can look back now and laugh
And though nostalgia trips with old friends are allowed
The best times of your life are the times you're living now, and though
I knew her then, when we were at school
I know her now, and that is cool
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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12. |
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The Wide Game was a game that we used to play in scouts
We'd go to the park after dark and, basically, run about
There was a local competition that took place every year
We needed a team that could win, or at least come somewhere near
So the football heroes, and the popular kids - the boys who got the girls
Carried the hopes of all the troop, but there were two teams because
There was a bed-wetter, a backwards kid, a big fat lad and me
In the Peterborough All-Saints Wide Game Team (group b)
Skip took us all to one side and said "Scouts do your best
Team A, i want you to go for the cup, Team B try and not get in a mess"
The macho lads were confident, set off with fire and noise
Got into fights all that night and failed to score a point
But while we might have disappointed Lord Baden-Powell
We did surprisingly well
For a bed-wetter, a backwards kid, a big fat lad and me
We were the Peterborough All-Saints Wide Game Team (group b)
And when we got back
To the safety of the pack
They were surprised to see we had
Secreted in our bag
A trophy engraved with "In Second Place"
And then the following list of names
There was a bed-wetter, a backwards kid, a big fat lad and me
It said "The Peterborough All-Saints Wide Game Team (group b)"
And if you're thinking this must be some kind of metaphor
For a way of life, well you might be right, and i'll tell you something more
Since that day, i've realised you can be a star
No matter what your lot in life, even if you are
A bed-wetter, a backwards kid, or a big fat lad like me
You can join the Peterborough All-Saints Wide Game Team (group b)
Come join the Peterborough All-Saints Wide Game Team (group b)
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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13. |
Family Wedding 2021
02:47
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I went into the future
To see what i'd become
When the women that i fall for
Are all some young woman's mum
I'm a cuddly fun-packed uncle
To my brother's little kids
Dancing at their wedding
To late eighties hits
And I'm up and i'm dancing when "The Queen Is Dead" comes on
At a Family Wedding in 2021.
I went up to the bar
And I bought myself a beer
He thanked me, then he asked me
"What in God's name are you doing here?
Go back to where you came from
Change the way things are
Make yourself amenable
Before things get this far"
Then he's off, and he's dancing when they play "She Bangs the Drums"
At a Family Wedding in 2021
Is this my doom? Is this my hell?
Never knowing who or what to tell?
Never saying what i think?
Will this torment never end
Always being someone's sad and lonely single friend
Being taken out on Sunday afternoons for a drink?
And I'm off and i'm dancing when they play "This Charming Man"
At a Family Wedding in 2021
And i'm back and i'm dancing to "Rave On"
Until a Family Wedding in 2021.
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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14. |
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When i called around this morning you weren't home
When i telephoned this evening some man picked up the phone
We pledged our love as sun set on the old Vic Berry's bridge
But it turns out you're a lying two-faced double crossing bitch
'Cos there's another man's laundry on your line
Boxers in your basket, and none of them are mine
Your freezer's full of meat, which is something you don't eat
There's another man's laundry hanging on your line
Well I saw his car parked in your parking space
And I looked up at the window and saw your pretty face
Through tears i realised that our love had been ignored
As you ironed out his Levi's on that cheating ironing board
'Cos there's another man's laundry on your line
Boxers in your basket, and none of them are mine
Your freezer's full of meat, which is something you don't eat
There's another man's laundry hanging on your line
Go and fetch the sheriff, i won't put up a fight
Because i did an evil thing when i saw you there last night
I crept into your backyard, saw my rival sipping wine
So i strangled him right there and then with that good old washing line
'Cos There's another man's laundry on your line
Boxers in your basket, and none of them are mine
Your freezer's full of meat, which is something you don't eat
There's another man's laundry hanging on your line
Well, tonight you'll hear the jangling of my spurs
As i am dangling from that gibbet yonder on the square of fifth and nine
And my ghost, so they say, will appear there every day
Yes i'll be there, like that laundry hanging on your line
'Cos there's another man's laundry on your line
Boxers in your basket, and none of them are mine
Your freezer's full of meat, which is something you don't eat
There's another man's laundry hanging from your line
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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15. |
The Only Thing
03:52
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Time has not withered your charms
You're still a fucking cow
I used to think you were beautiful
I know better than that now
To think I cried for you
To think I'd lie down with you
And give you everything I had to give
But you could not find room in your heart for someone else
The only thing that you loved was yourself
You treated me like shit
You only ever rang to dictate your shopping lists
And you were vile to my friends and family
I told them you would change
Made excuses for you again and again
But the more I said it
The harder it was to believe
Because you could not find room in your heart for someone else
The only thing that you loved was yourself
The only time you said "I love you" was when I said that I would leave
And when I came back we both returned to blaming everything on me
It's a miracle that I escaped your threats and self-pity
But you wouldn't wait to turn love to hate
Because you could not find room in your heart for someone else
The only thing that you loved was yourself
You made me feel less of a man
You tried to wipe out everything that I am
And it took me a year to get back to who I was
But when I saw you again I held out an olive branch
You said "Piss off", and I thought "Thanks
That's the kindest thing that you have ever done"
Because you could not find room in your heart for someone else
The only thing we both you loved was yourself
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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16. |
Leave My Brother Alone
03:53
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I'm standing on the corner getting beaten up
By the kids from the year above
Finding out that smart remarks
Don't help to mop up blood
And when they've finally tired of this
And they've all gone away
Someone comes and helps me up
And quietly says
Leave my brother alone
Leave my brother alone"
He says "Mark, if I was older
And if I had my bike
I would cycle after them
And challenge them to a fight"
I said "James, don't you worry yourself
It's really quite all right
Sometimes it's enough to know
There's someone on your side who'll say
Leave my brother alone
Leave my brother alone"
Fast-forward fifteen years
And we're talking on the phone
About his stupid bint ex-girlfriend
Who has left him on his own
In the house they bought together
While she's out seeing other men
She's got the nerve to wonder why
They can't still be friends, and I thought
Leave my brother alone
Leave my brother alone
I said "James, if I had a car
And if I could even drive
I'd dash straight up the M69
And give her a piece of my mind"
He said "Mark, don't you worry yourself
It's really quite all right
Sometimes it's enough to know
There's someone on your side who'll say
Leave my brother alone
Leave my brother alone
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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17. |
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There was a time when even I
Could walk into a pub
And cast my eyes over ales of many kinds
And not know which ones were any good
I had narry a clue about the nature of my booze
I couldn't sort a porter from a stout
I'd pay two quid for undrinkable shit
Until one day I worked the whole thing out
I saw them true
I saw them clear
I saw Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
I was no fool, no, I was a seer
So I give you Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
It's not to do with gravity
And it's not to do with the grain
You haven't got to smell the hops
You simply need know what's the name
Look for words like honey, wheat or dew
Avoid the beers call Old
Drink the words like autumn, summer, sun
Shine, harvest, or Gold
Out of the dark
your path is clear
If you follow Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
You'll be well served if you are steered
By Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
If the name sounds like it was thought of by three fat smelly old blokes in a brewery
Only drink it if that's who you are, but if you're asking me...
I want to wake next day and shout "HOORAY!
I am reborn with the bowels of a king
My mind's refreshed, I've not fallen over yet,
And I feel the overwhelming urge to sing"
Let's give a slightly hungover cheer
For Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
The world is fab groovy and gear
When you've got Hibbett's Golden Rules Of Beer
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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18. |
I've Got What You Need
01:59
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Look up my name, you'll get my number
If you want some help around the house
I can come around and take your paper down
And if you like I'll sort your grouting out
I have got my toolbox ready
For any jobs that you want me to do
If your shelf has fallen then give me a call and
I'll come round and get it up for you
I've got what you need
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need
Well you say your boyfriend gives good love
But can he tell you where the stop cock is?
If your fuses blew would he be good for you
Could his plunger get your u-bend fixed?
So when I mend your microwave then maybe
You and me can have a little drink
I'll do your pots and pans, I'll be your handyman
I've got it all except the kitchen sink
I've got what you need
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need
So I came and cleared your drains for you
I gave your guttering a damn good clean
But when I came inside the only thing that I could find
Was five quid and a cup of tea
That's not what I mean
It's not what need
Oh no, it's not what I mean
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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19. |
Walkman In My Head
02:49
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I haven't had a walkman
For many many years
I found the foam in headphones
Would play havoc with my ears
I needed entertainment
That was non-aurally led
And by happy chance i happened on
The walkman in my head
Walkman in my head
Walkman in my head
In-house, in-car, in bed
Press play
It has no need of batteries
It cannot chew your tapes
It can't be dropped upon the ground
And thus it never breaks
It'll play you ageing vinyl
8-track, DAT, or DVD
It's compatible adaptable
Robust technology
Walkman in my head
Walkman in my head
Aloft or on sea-bed
Press play
Walkman in my head
Walkman in my head
On Planets Blue or Red
Press play
Every song you've ever heard of
Every tune you've ever hummed
It can play them all, but do be warned,
Some words may come out Rum
It puts profanities in Carols
Which is quite Morally Wrong
But on the plus-side sometimes it writes
New songs like this one.
Walkman in my head
Walkman in my head
OBEY ME, it said
Press play
OBEY ME, it said
Press play
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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20. |
The Same Page Of The Map
01:02
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Now, I'm really not complaining
I'm in love, and that's amazing
Bloody brilliant, in fact, but still I wish
That we were in the same postcode
'Cos girl you know if that were so
I would feel rich beyond the dreams of avarice
So when I'm sitting on that train
Going home a-bloody-gain
I'll try to think of simple ways to make things right
For instance, last week, passing Luton
I found a way to make Cold Fusion
Power Pedallos that flew faster than light
And, though I'm grateful and i am glad
That we have found each other at last
Let's ask the Lord, if Buddha's right
On the next turn round of life
Can we please be on the same page of the map?
Oh, if that Midland Mainline Engine
Crossed not Northants but Dimensions
I'd buy a Weekend Rover for worlds where we are
Within easy walking distance
Of each other, even if the
Planet's run by giant jellyfish from Mars
And I'd be grateful, gruesome, but glad
That we had found each other at last
And be they biped, bird or beetle
I'd tell whatever passed for people
That we're living on the same page of the map
The same page of the map
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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21. |
Rock and Roll Mayhem
02:35
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In Birmingham I met an author
He writes books, that's what authors do
I said "I love your work"
He said "Who are you?"
'Cos I'm on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
In Glasgow I woke up at 3am
And made for the toilet door
I found myself stark bollock naked
Locked out in the hotel corridor
'Cos I'm on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
In Hull I refuted media allegations
That The Validators had split up
Met the New York Anti-Folk Poet Jeffrey Lewis
And shared a manly hug
'Cos I'm on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
In Sheffield we played an illegal warehouse rave
It was like Andy Warhol at The Factory
I did two encores
And then we went clubbing in the week
'Cos I'm on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
In London we enjoyed a Rock Cliche
When I stopped and the audience sang "Payday"
Oh baby, there was a lot of love there at the end
When me and Adam and Team Frankie said "Let's do it again"
'Cos we're on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
Yeah, we're on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
Oh we're on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
Let's go on tour
Rock and Roll Mayhem
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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22. |
Dinky Doo
03:19
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I wanted to sing you a little song
To tell you how much I love you
To share with you and the whole wide world
Why I gave up Michael Stipe for you
You're one of the most important punks in the country
Yet you listen to Radio 2
Your favourite film is The Sound Of Music
And you love the bloke who says "Dinky Doo"
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
So now Mr Tim we are wed
We can parentally legally share a bed
But it doesn't mean I suddenly won't mind you picking your feet
I'll never ever ever ever find that endearing or sweet
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
All your memories of things in detail
Your maps and books of the road
Billy Bryson and motorways, power stations
Football and your fear of frogs and toads
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
You like to go up mountains, I prefer to look at them
But we both love to cook
I've got an unbaked carrot cake
And you've got your unstarted book
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
But remember the truth is I love you
And today we both showed the world
So goodbye Michael Stipe I don't need you
I've got my Tim to have and to hold
Bye bye Michael Stipe
Bye bye Michael Stipe
Bye bye Michael Stipe
I've got my Tim to have and to hold
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK
MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more
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