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And you thought I was a miserable sod a few years ago? Compared to the author of THIS song I was COMMANDER CHIPPER of the CHIRPY BRIGADE, special LEVITY Division.

For LO! this song was written by the esteemed FRANKIE MACHINE in, I believe, the few days when he was called LUKEWARM SKYWATER. Yes, you're right, changing it WAS a good idea.

It seems supremely ODD to think it, knowing his aversion to having a bass player in his own band (IRONY upon IRONY!), but I'm sure there was an idea at one point that I'd play bass for him. He sent me a tape of a few of his songs, including one that I thought was about MASTURBATION but Rob, in a hurt voice, assures me ISN'T, and I distinctly recall standing in the My New Flat Studio Complex (i.e. my attic) playing along with them, though nothing ever became of either my playing with him or any of the songs on that tape. I REALLY hope he becomes the poster boy for a new generation of Tortured American Youth soon, with that tape I'll be QUIDS IN!

This was the song that especially stood out for me, and so I decided to LEARN it. Rob being Rob this had some COMPLEX chordage in it which, me being me, I RIPPED OUT and replaced with MUCH easier ones. I also, I think, sped it up, removed some sections I didn't think were necessary (i.e. where there were Difficult Chords), and then added that POSSIBLY ill-advised SCAT bit at the end. As with RING YOUR MOTHER I hadn't heard this song for YEARS until this evening, and last night (at The Vic in Derby, where we played to 10 people and had a GRATE time) when Rob gave me the CD of the last few songs for this album he WARNED me about said SCAT ATAK. I was AFEARED, but now I've heard it I think it sounds quite nice.

I really liked this song, and after recording it in the Say It With Words GIGA-SESSIONS i was CONVINCED it was going to annoy me by WINNING the Focus Group vote, but it came RIGHT down at the bottom, only beating "You'll Always Be My Baby Brother" and "A Weekend Lover's Lot", two songs which I doubt will EVER be heard outside my house, and rarely then. I still don't understand why, I think it's lovely, but I guess it IS rather different from all the other stuff we did. Rob's written LOADS of GRATE songs since then, but this one's always stuck with me, I think it's LOVELY.

Right then, where did I put my EBAY login?

lyrics

Well if I remember rightly
I was born on a Friday
Thirteen's my lucky number
It's lucky I remember

And if my house was by the rail track
Maybe you would come back
I'd be down there with the trains
Impressing the policeman with my brains

And you'll find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
It's a phase I am going through
Hell
A titanic at the bottom of the ocean
I'm so afraid I'm only going through the motions

Well if i could spell your name right
Maybe you'd give me the green light
But as it is i don't know where i stand
I never take off without a safe place to land

And you'll find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
It's a phase I am going through
Hell
A titanic at the bottom of the ocean
I'm so afraid I'm only going through the motions

Find me with Elvis in the Heartbreak Hotel
I'm going through hell

credits

from Warriors Of Nanpantan, released March 2, 2005

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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