The Massive Banker

from by MJ Hibbett (and Steve)

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Another GRATE SATIRE from "Total Hero Team". Originally this song was a verse or two longer, but I discovered that people get a bit bored if GRATE SATIRE goes on too long. Also originally it started with the chorus, but when I took that out I was AMAZED to find that there was suddenly a GIGANTIC LARF when I sang "I am a Massive Banker" after the first chorus.

Unlike the song before it in the show, people ALWAYS get this one, and pretty much ALWAYS laugh too!

lyrics

I used to be a wealthy man
Until one day I thought
How can I justify earning
A 100 times the norm?
I meditated on it and
Eventually realised
The only moral thing to do
Was to increase my size

So I grew up to 600 feet
And if you do the maths
You'll find that now my bank account
Is equal to my mass

Now I am a Massive Banker
I'm incredibly huge
I am a Massive Banker
I'm looking down on you

Of course I needed more cash now
Just to support myself
But I found that I could take it
From everybody else
And as you all got smaller
Well come on, what's a guy to do?
The income gap was changing
So I grew and grew and grew

But I found the bigger that I got
The tinier I felt
Money wasn't enough anymore
I wanted power as well

So being a Massive Banker
I bought all your MPs
And I grew a mile higher
When I purchased the police

Now I am so high up
That I can't see you down there
But you can see The Massive Banker
Everybloodywhere!

Oh I am a Massive Banker
I've never been so huge
I am a Massive Banker
And I'm here to stamp on you!

credits

from Total Hero Team, released February 28, 2014

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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