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Tim suggested we come up with a Fast One With A Different Bit At The End and this is the result.

I tried to make the words about the Kinder Scout Mass Protest but didn't get any further than looking it up on Wikipedia. Instead I dipped into one of my all-time favourite Urban Legends - The Kremlin secretly funded a chain of petrol stations in remote locations across the UK so that, come the inevitable invasion, they would have a system of support stations already set up.

Meanwhile I'd decided to do a ukelele cover version of 'Ask' at a forthcoming gig and while looking up the words came across an internet forum where everybody was too young to have ever heard the phrase 'The Bomb' used referring to Nuclear War. I found this rather moving.

lyrics

RED BLACK GOLD! RED BLACK GOLD!
RED BLACK GOLD! RED BLACK GOLD!

Near a lonely layby on the B6061
Stands a petrol station rarely used by anyone
There behind the cashier's desk
The sleeper agent waits
For the signal from the Kremlin
Telling him to activate
Part of a chain of service stations funded by the KGB
Designed to form invasion staging posts for the Red Army

RED BLACK GOLD! RED BLACK GOLD!
RED BLACK GOLD! RED BLACK GOLD!

The rest of the chain was quietly sold when the Cold War had cooled down
The sleeper used his agent's pension to buy the leasehold out
It's all he's ever known to do
So he prefers to wait
For the signal from the Kremlin
Telling him to activate
So say 'nyet' to Welcome Break, let Moto be ignored
Look for the final holdout
On the island of Mam Tor

RED BLACK GOLD! RED BLACK GOLD!

Searching online for the lyrics to 'Ask'
I found an unofficial homepage
With a furious debate between teenagers over
The words of a Morrissey phrase
Some said he sang 'It is the bond' meaning the bond
That forms when the lovers unite
Others thought it was 'The Bomb' like explosions
That go off when love unrequited requites
But of course it's the bomb, it's the nuclear bomb
Is the bomb that'll bring them together
But none of them knew, they had no idea what it meant

And I thought, well that's great, that we live in an age
Where the kids don't live in certain knowledge
That they'll all be wiped out beneath a mushroom cloud
Before they're halfway through sixth form college
And I know that the world isn't perfect, I know there's lots wrong
But at least we have managed to turn round the words of one song
Because it's not the bomb, it's not the bomb
That'll bring us together
And if it's not the bomb maybe it's love


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

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from Regardez, Ecoutez Et Repetez, released May 11, 2009

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all rights reserved

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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK

MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more

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