Get all 29 MJ Hibbett & The Validators releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Bad Back (Osteopaths Of Glory Mix) (single), The Unearthly Beauty Of, The Swingin' Sound Of Sixties Marvel, Goodbye To Great Britain (single), I Don't Have To Worry About That (EP), A Museum Of One Thing (single), People Are All Right (EP), You're A Tory Now (single), and 21 more.
1. |
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Here come a herd of haircuts
From the Corporate Indie scene
Sheathed in black and leather jackets
They sound like Primal Scream
Think they're clever, saying everything's
Trash and drab and wrong
Their complaining does my brain in
Makes me want to shout Come On
Tell me something that you do like
Tell me something you think's GRATE
It's so dreary sitting listening
To your vacuous complaints
A pessimist is never disappointed
But they are disappointing
It's the smell of a life long coward
Who'll never stand up for anything
Especially if you're in a band
You don't have to sing about girls
Come on, use your imagination
Stand up, stand tall, and tell the world
Tell me something that you do like
Tell me something you think rules
Have the guts for once in your life
To risk someone thinking you're not cool
'Cos you're not cool
Examples of some topics you might wish to discuss:
The feel of a freshly sealed envelope
The smell of the pavement after rain
A yellow tit in an urban garden
Free tea and coffee on the train
The rolling gait of Scooby Doo
The new series of Dr Who
Euros, Truro, Lego Bricks
Come pucker up and give life a KISS
And tell me something optimistic
Tell me how things really are
It is not being simplistic
To use a bit of wit and charm
To tell me something that you do like
Don't make out your life's a trial
Tell me something bloody brilliant
Tell me something that will make me smile
Come on and make me smile
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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2. |
Looking At My Hands
03:06
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I was looking at my hands
They were the hands of an old man
Somewhere there's a pensioner running round with wrists that are not his
Oh Lord and in the name of love
Return to me the contents of my gloves
I was looking at my face
Looming like the warlike planet deep in deepest space
With martian canal lines, a hint of polar ice
When did the planet go cold?
And when did it get so old?
But, that said, I like being thirty
All right, I like being in my thirties as I'm not quite thirty now
Oh yes, I like
Knowing what my mind is, and knowing that I'm right
I was looking at my clothes
Where did my days as a Dandy go?
I'm dressed as if I'm going to a Parent Teacher Barbecue
I used to cut a rug across the discotheques of Britain
I stood proudly bequiffed but now most of my quiff is missing
But then
I thought about my friends
I've got to say these days, they're all bloody GRATE
I used to hang around with a right bunch of arsey pillocks
I don't see them much nowadays but I can't say I miss them
Oh yes, I like being thirty
I like being in my thirties as I'm not quite thirty now
I feel deeply satisfied
Knowing what my mind is and knowing that I'm right
When I was 24
I was pretty sure that I knew the score
A snappy answer for each eventuality
I thought I had it sorted but actually
I didn't have a clue what to do with my life
I still don't but now I don't mind
I'm feeling good, I'm looking groovy
You dare to doubt it? So sue me
I was looking at my mind
Glistening with fitness from the fountain of my life
Still undergoing training in biography's gymnasium
Every day in every way
I'm becoming more applaudable than even I was yesterday
And that's why
It doesn't really matter if my hairline gets too high
It's only making space for enlargement of the brain
If my back aches it's 'cos I'm carrying
The equipment of a stallion
Oh yes, I like being thirty
I like being in my thirties as I'm not quite thirty now
I feel contented and free
In a mental landscape where I'm happy being me
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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3. |
Better Things To Do
03:39
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I have never learnt to drive a vehicle
I reckon how hard can it be?
And I've never took the time
It takes to learn to fly
I'll work it out if there's ever a need
Flemish is a language I can't chat in
I'll learn it if I'm ever off to Brugges
And similarly I cannot speak Latin
I have had much better things to do
Like walking in the park with you
And talking in the dark with you
These have been much better things to do
Better things to do
Well I've no idea how to route a network
I've got no way to know which routers what
And I've not been on a course
To learn to program C++
I frankly could not give a toss for DOS
And I'll drink whatever wine's put on the table
With vineyards I find I've not got a clue
And I'll rarely even read what's on the label
I have got much better things to do
Like watching DVDs with you
And drinking cups of tea with you
These have been much better things to do
Better things to do
La la la la la
I could not be arsed
To write some words to put into this part
So la la la la la
Better things to do
Day dreaming in another dreary meeting
I caught a glimpse of 2109
Where a grateful nation's wired up for hearing
The final thoughts of their President For Life
Someone said Lord Hibbett, do you have regrets, sir?
I said yes I guess I must have had a few
I'd've liked to ride more trams
But otherwise Je Ne Regrette Riens
I must have had much better things to do
Like waking up at last with you
And making time fly fast with you
These have been much better things to do
Better things to do
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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4. |
Girlfriend Alarmed
02:50
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Girlfriend alarmed
By the power of our post-pub conversation
I simply made a remark
Bringing your reproductive system into question
She's says that I went too far
But we were like this before we even had loins to mention
It's just the way we are
We've been behaving this way since we were both eleven
Look at all the other men in the pub
They'll be talking like us
Talking so loud, that you will never hear
That the words we say
Don't necessarily match the reasons we are saying them
You've simply got to translate
It into beer, then to football, into playground and back again
You don't believe me, but hey
Maybe that's the whole point, like it's a gigantic smokescreen
For us to keep saying the same,
Without an outsider understanding deeper meanings
Look at all the other men in the pub
They'll be talking like us
Telling the stories we've told ten times before
But none of us mind
It's the way you tell it, not how up to date it is
And anyway over time
The stories change and evolve beyond the means of the journalist
Like cave men out for the night
We like to sit by the fire and tell the tales of our tribe and it's
True, listen in and you'll find
You'll be joining in next time when it gets to the good bit
Look at all the other men in the pub
They'll be talking like us
Talking like us, 'cos when you think about it
Men have been this way since the start of time
When hunting mammoth there's no time for affection
We've learnt a language rooted deep in violence
So softer feelings creep in in disguise without detection
It's not just girls we tease to tell them that we like them
Some of my best friends - I've had to fight them
I've got the scars to show how much some of my closer friends like me
So there you go
I wouldn't worry about me calling Neil an idiot
He already knows
I didn't mean it when I said he was feckless and ignorant
You can ask him yourself
But first I'll ring him to tell him it's OK to unmask me
Oh yeah - he'd better, or else
I'll be in trouble like all my forefathers before me
Look at all the other men in the world
They'll be talking like us
To their girlfriends,
Girlfriend alarmed
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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5. |
The Gay Train
05:00
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In Peterborough was where I was raised
And in my bedroom was where I spent most of my days
On a ZX Spectrum, as I've previously mentioned
So I did my 'A' Levels and I moved to Leicester
Well, I met a few people, I made a few friends
And this is the story about one of them
So come with me now on a journey through time
To when he moved to London, near the Northern Line
I was going down to Balham
When somebody said Let's go to Clapham
And see the Gay Pride Festival there
I got on the underground
Didn't really understand
The scene I'd see before me down there
And there were lesbians to the left of me
A gay choir to the right
And two terrified tourists quivering with fright
On the Gay Train
On the Gay Train, in 1994
The carriage guard looked very frightened
He wasn't being quite as enlightened
As I was trying to be
With Liberalism writ on my face
Looking very hetero, just in case
But no-one even tried to get off with me
And there were lesbians to the left of me
A gay choir to the right
And two terrified tourists quivering with fright
On the Gay Train
On the Gay Train, in 1994
Then they let off all these balloons
Each representing someone who
They knew who had died of AIDS
Everybody stopped acting quite so camp
And I remember thinking to myself that that
Was the most moving thing I'd seen all day
And there were lesbians to the left of me
A gay choir to the right
And this terrified tourist suddenly felt all right
On the Gay Train
On the Gay Train, in 1994
As my mate Mileage's Dad would say
It doesn't really matter if you're straight or gay
All that matters is love
And it's all love
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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6. |
Dino At The Sands
02:50
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All that I was doing
Was trying to sing my song
But then I heard applause and I knew that you'd come on
You did Deputy Dog
You told the same old jokes
And I never did get to sing my song
And I thought you were my friend
But now I feel like Sidney at the end
Thought the show was over
So I went and got my coat and cap on
And put my things into a paper bag
But when I came out
I found you dancing with the dancing girls
And yes, it made me sad
Because I thought you were my friend
And now I feel like Eric at the end
On the road to Rio
You and me and Dorothy Lamour
I thought she loved me
But she loved you more
All your pratfalls
All your demands and antics
Drove me to drink and distraction so
When I got the offer
I went with Sam and Francis
To the desert where we played the greatest show
And now it's me who gets to sing and dance
And I feel like Dino at The Sands
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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7. |
Breaks In The Journey
02:44
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You'd never take a map
You'd never think of deviating
From your list of junctions that
Are your means of navigating
With sandwiches and thermos flask
No need to stop at service stations
You've run your life like that
Your confidence and faith's amazing
But will you ever
Start to think
I wish I could have stopped more often
Stopped and looked at wildlife centres
Took a trip round national monuments
Walked along a public footpath
Me, I took the scenic route
Had no idea where I was going
Thatcher'd ripped up all the road signs
And public transport's eyes were closing
And though I'd never win the races
Strolling home on Shanks's pony
I talked to people and saw places
That I'd never dreamt of knowing
But will I ever
Start to think
I wish I hadn't stopped so often
But put myself on firmer footings
Paid my bills, spent more time working
Early nights and forward thinking
Your autobiography
Was written arse to tit
You wrote the final chapter first
And worked backwards from it
I've made mine up going along
No clue what's coming next
I guess my memoirs'll never have a
Definitive accepted text
I was too busy making facts to check
That the whole thing overall made sense
It makes no sense
It makes no sense
At least not yet
My footwell's filled with souvenirs
The paintwork's patched and dated
The seats are ripped and stained with beer
But it's a car that I've created
And anyway our destinations
Have always been the same
And if I find you got there first
You won't hear me complain
And if I ever
Start to think
Should I not have stopped so often?
I'll think of all those wildlife centres
Trips I took round national monuments
Friends I met on public footpaths
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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8. |
The Fight For History
03:57
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They're saying Ronald Reagan was the Master Of Diplomacy
'Cos he ended the Cold War with only Thatcher there to help him
They say he led the world in times that were more optimistic
I don't know about you but that is not how I remember it
The constant crushing certainty of nuclear oblivion
Was ended by East Germans in Berlin not politicians
When warmongers seek credit for a peace they didn't want
They've one eye on the history books, the other's on the clock
Well I was there and I will not forget
The fight for history begins the day that Thatcher is dead
The two-faced slip-on socialists who helped her stay in power
Are riding round in company cars charging a thousand pounds an hour
To reassure the wage slaves who think they're the wage slaves' masters
That they're modern and creative whilst behind the drums beat faster
And we've all got to pretend that we now like Edwina Currie
And that Steven Norris wasn't a corrupt adulterous bully
All the smiling lying psychopaths we finally deposed
Are now creeping into reality TV and phone-in shows
Well I was there and I will not forget
The fight for history begins the day that Thatcher is dead
Down in Soho all the preening pamphlet-headed peacocks
Try to make out it's iconic wearing Council-hair and pop-socks
And paint the Eighties as an age of decadence and glamour
As if the miners' strike, the poll tax and BSE never happened
As if Section 28 was never passed into the law
As if Osama Bin Laden wasn't paid to fight our wars
As if the institutionalised weren't turfed onto the streets
Into a new society they said did not exist
Well I was there and I will not forget
The fight for history begins the day that Thatcher is dead
And if you think it's past and put to bed
You wait until the wave of lies the day that Thatcher is dead
We will fight for history on the day that Thatcher's dead
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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9. |
Mental Judo
04:08
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I did a gig
At a venue that was slightly too big
For the six people who were there
Including the other band
As I said to them
We should cherish being here as friends
It isn't something that we will see again
Said the promoter
I said I do not care
If there's never anybody else there
I'm going to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't
Mental Judo
Let's enjoy for what it is
This way we can hang around and chat and get pissed
We might as well have some fun while we're alive
Mental Judo
For my birthday one year
Two of my friends took me out for a beer
They'd invited other people I knew
To come and meet me
I didn't mind
That hardly any of them arrived
But the other two spent the whole night
Going on about it
I said I do not care
If there's never anybody else there
I'm going to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't
Mental judo
This way a round'll be cheap
And we'll be sure that we all get a seat
When we go out dancing, 'cos we're going out dancing
Mental judo
Now I know this job
Is not exactly your dream job
But still, it pays the bills
And you can keep looking
And I know you'd like
To be accompanied in bed at night
You'd like to reach out and turn out the light
And find another human being
No, it's not fair
That's there's never anybody else there
But try to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't
Mental judo
Without responsibilities
Why not apply to colleges?
Why not jack it all in and do the something that you really want to do?
Mental judo
Go get a new career
Go drink cheap student beer
No mortgage, no boss
No stress no work - no loss and
On campus the chances
Of finding new romances
Are greater than they've been
On the shopfloor, and on the dancefloor
No, it's not fair
That there's never anybody else there
But try to enjoy it for what it is
Not not for what it isn't
Mental judo
Stop yearning
Start learning
The only person stopping you from doing it is you so
Mental judo
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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10. |
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The flat I used to have had two sockets per room
So I had to juggle the white goods that I'd accrued
My CD listening was spoilt because I'd always know
Afterwards I'd have to reprogram my video
Thus I existed with depleted Music Love
Until I spent two pounds upon a Four Way Plug
it was a
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device
I'd queue for hours to buy tickets for the train
Now I can buy online within six working days
I'd scold my hands by draining pasta with the lid
My nightmare ended on the day I bought a sieve
I would spend hours trying to sweep up my flat
With a dustpan and hand brush, then I bought a mini-vac
it was a
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device
www.qoled.com
And yes this also functions as a metaphor
For making little changes in life that make life much better or
Appreciating all the smaller simple things in life
That we normally don't appreciate and that is why
I'm setting up a webpage to collect a few e.g.s
E-mail me your suggestions for some QOLEDs
Bring me your
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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11. |
The Lesson Of The Smiths
03:59
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Morrisey, Marr and Barlow changed my life
They made the kind of music that I said I didn't like
Then one day I realised that I did
Watching Take That, in fact, performing at The Brits
Hearing Back For Good the first time
I thought From now on, in life, I'll
Like the things I like with an open heart
The Krazy World Of Rock's an easy place to start
From here on in I'll base my judgements not on baggage but on art
And from that day a voice in my head
Has come to me in times of doubt and said
Remember the lesson of Take That
If a pile of pillocks pretend to like it, doesn't mean it's crap
And remember the lesson of The Smiths
Just because a bunch of wankers like it, doesn't mean that it's shit
You see, I didn't have that great a time in my later years at school
I didn't really like anyone, least of all the kids who were cool
I had to hate their music, and therefore
The Smiths became the epitome of all that I abhorred
But in later years, at Indie Discos, with jumper stretched and specs akimbo
All I lacked was a quiff and a pocket of daffs
I could have seen them playing live, but alas
They split before my foolish pride decided not to be so daft
And when I contemplate the great mistake I made
A little voice pipes up to say
Remember the lesson of The Smiths
Just because a bunch of wankers like it, doesn't mean that it's shit
And remember the lesson of Take That
If a pile of pillocks pretend to like it, doesn't mean it's crap
Now, I went out walking on a walk against a war
And I noticed many banners had seen many walks before
The usual cliques of Marxo-Anarchistic sods
Who'll try to kidnap any demonstration, relevant or not
Well I got so peeved I moved to leave when suddenly I heard
A little voice inside me saying Hibbett, don't be such a berk
Look beyond the gits and hippies and you'll see
Two million people marching for something they believe
So what if there's a thousand fuckwits here?
Peace and love is still a bloody good idea
And remember the lesson of Take That
If a pile of pillocks pretend to like it, doesn't mean it's crap
And remember the lesson of The Smiths
Just because a bunch of wankers like it, doesn't mean that it's shit
Oh yes, if you're dismissing things because they're in with some other crowd
You will be the one who's missing out
Don't wait for a retrospective, come on, get into it now
Or you will be the one who's missing out
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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12. |
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Here we are again
Sitting in lines and singing the songs
That we used to sing when we saw each other every day
And afterwards we'll say
How're you doing? How's the family?
I didn't know you had another baby on the way
And when did we become the kind of friends
Who only ever meet in Church?
We only ever meet in church
Your Christmas Card arrived
And I must say I'm surprised to find
It's not from the cheapest packet in BHS
It really is quite nice
And inside is an invite to keep the weekend free
At the start of August next
And when did we become the kind of friends
Who only ever meet in Church?
We only ever meet in church
It seems like only yesterday that we were at the christening
Now somehow we're all sitting here again, laughing and listening
To you giving the speech as the father of the bride
In what seems like no time we're coming back
Far Less of us now and now dressed in black
Saying the same things we say every time
Singing the same songs sat in the same lines
And I wonder - when we did we stop asking
Anything new and became trapped in aspic
Friends for no better and for no worse
Friends who only ever
Met in church
So here we are again
Jumpered up in a country pub
Celebrating nothing, except the fact that we're all here
And afterwards we'll say
If you're going don't forget to ring
And let us know the next time you're coming round this way
And don't let us become the kind of friends
Who only ever meet in church
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
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MJ Hibbett & The Validators London, UK
MJ Hibbett & The Validators have performed live on Radio One, had a Record Of The Year in Rolling Stone, an Album Of The Day on 6Music, released one of the first ever viral videos, toured the UK and Europe, featured in an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show, and recorded a science fiction rock opera, all while maintaining their complete independence from outside record labels. ... more
MJ Hibbett & The Validators recommends:
Echo Bridge
by Gavin Osborn & The Comment Section
Home to many excellent people and albums.
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a short album about stuff
by Matt Tiller
Touring buddy and all round good egg.
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The Worst Way to Die
by Alex and the Christopher Hale Band
One of many sites demonstrating the ROCK of Alex.
go to albumIf you like MJ Hibbett & The Validators, you may also like:
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by Daniel Kitson
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one of the best comedians i've found in a while, and i've only heard specials he doesn't consider to be as good. i had to hear this in full.
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Weltanschauung (2006)
by Daniel Kitson
supported by 5 fans who also own “WE VALIDATE!”
When you say album, are you using the Arabic for 'the' when you say 'al'? What do i think of the bum? Daniel Kitson as the bum or the bum as an entity in itself? Although the bum as an entity in itself would be a bit weird, so I'll assume you mean Daniel Kitson as the bum, yeah I love 'im, bloody wordy geezer.
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Deep soul melodies and elastic funk grooves light up the latest from Sivu.
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