Christmas Selection Box

by MJ Hibbett & The Validators

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about

A compilation of ALL our Christmas Songs, available to download exclusively from bandcamp.

Visit our webpage at www.mjhibbett.com/christmas for lyrics, notes and ESPECIALLY for videos!

credits

released 13 December 2010

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all rights reserved

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Track Name: The Flashing Santa
The first time i saw it i couldn't believe how awful it was
Someone in the flats had a five foot Santa, flashing on their door and I thought
Jeez Louise, isn't Trick Or Treat American import enough?
And I must admit that the sight of it would flipping wind me up
Every morning on the way to work, inside my mind I'd murmur
The West Wing, Elvis, Spider-man - this far but mate, not further
You're not part of my culure, and you're not part of my Christmas
My nemesis - the Flashing Santa

Twelve months later he was back and this time he seemed to say
"Hey buddy! Chris Christingle here - happy holidays!"
"And look I've bought some buddies" and sure enough he had
Waving from a Christmas Steam engine, on the next door flat
There was Rudolph, snowmen, and the baby Jesus being adored by a donkey
And Santa even seemed to wink at me when a bulb in one eye went wonky
I said look, you're not part of my culture, and you're not part of my Christmas
You're my nemesis - the Flashing Santa

By the second week the entire street had gone illumination mad
Like a flashing flourescent contagion, spread from a single flat
People came from miles around, and outside our's they'd ask
I wonder why this is the only house that's decided to stay dark?
So I grappled with my conscience and by the start of advent next
I'd been down to Argos for a sign saying "Happy Xmas" with a pulsing X
He may not be part of my culture, but he's now part of my Christmas
He's our old chum - the Flashing Santa

But this year something isn't right - Santa has gone missing
The old guy in the flat has left and he's taken Santa with him
I've scoured the shops for a replacement, but he must have come from Woolworths
There's nothing like him anywhere, I thought until I looked
On ebay, where I paid above the odds for one that's broken -
It said a bulb had gone long long ago, and one of his eyes won't open
And now he's back. On my front door, and he's making Christmas happen
Our cultured friend - the Flashing Santa
Track Name: Thank Goodness For Christmas
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Well done Mary and the Holy Ghost
It's extremely convenient
That you had baby Jesus
When we needed a party the most

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Without it we'd all get S.A.D.
It's so dark, dank and wet
From November to Feb
Fairy lights give off Vitamin D

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
It's saving the economy
Think of all those employed
Making mince pies and toys
And the huge Beano Book industry

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
We can clear out the drinks cabinet
Booze bought on holiday
All goes down the same way
As the fancy brandy your Auntie sent

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
A showcase for the BBC
We'll get new Doctor Who
Strictly Come Dancing too,
Morecambe And Wise from the seventies

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Keeping the fitness business afloat
If we didn't all eat
Chocolate and cake all week
In Jan all of the gyms would be closed

Crackers and Christmas trees
Would go to waste
If Christmas disappeared
What would we do on Boxing day?

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Every year I get to write a song
You might like it or not
But at least you have got
To admit that it's never that long

Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Oh thank goodness for Christmas
Christmas dong ding dong ding dong
Track Name: The Advent Calendar Of FACT
Door One A Robin in a woodland scene
Door Two A parcel with a bow
Door Three A traditional Christmas Tree
Door Four A pointless pile of snow
Door Five It's a drunken mob of Carol Singers
Door Six Appears to be a Christmas Sock
It's the madness advent calenders bring us
But here's one thing that it is not

It's nothing like the Christmas that I know and like
It's not like any Christmas I've had
Don't bring me Advent Calenders of falsehood myth and LIES
Bring me the Advent Calendar of FACT

Door seven It's raining all day long
Door eight Westlife at number one
Door nine A child falls off a brand new bike
Door ten A cat entangled in the Christmas Lights
Door Eleven Someone saying "Let's play Triv!"
Door Twelve Me not escaping to the pub
It may not sound like it
But this is something that I love

This is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT



Thirteen Y-Fronts
Fourteen Jumpers
Fifteen Receipts kept just in case
Sixteen Rude pants
Seventeen "Massage" tools
Eighteen The look on your Nan's face
Being drunk at 9 am
Seems like a Good Idea
When combining your family
With free wine, whisky, rum and beer

And this is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT

Nineteen Half a jar of Cranberry Sauce
Twenty A pile of washing up
Twenty One Highlighter Pens in Radio Times
Twenty Two A tape we'll never watch
Twenty Three Burnt Brandy on a Christmas Pudding
Nobody wants to eat
Twenty Four Walnuts to watch the film with
Then all falling fast asleep

This is the Christmas that I know and like
This is all the Christmases I've had
This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies
This is the Advent Calendar of FACT


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: Give Us A Kiss (for Christmas)
Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

I don't want a card this year and I don't want a present
All I want's a kiss from you, cos that will last for ever

Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

Well if Santa tied you in a bow and left you neath the mistletoe
Would I love you more in the snow? I don't know, so

Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas

CHRISTMAS!
Give us a kiss for Christmas
Give us a kiss for Christmas


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: I Got You What You Want For Christmas
I went to do my shopping but i didn't take a list
I know that in your stocking you'll be wanting some of this
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas

I used a bit of effort and an awful lot of love
To make sure that I got you something really really good
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas

It's not something for sharing or for anyone else to use
It's something really lovely that's exactly right for you
For Christmas
I got you want you want for Christmas


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
Track Name: The 29th Day Of December
All the cards have been written, addressed and dispatched
On the 29th Day of December
All the lists have been ticked off and presents unwrapped
On the 29th Day of December
All our worries are over for eleven months
So at last we can do what we actually want
Goodwill, peace on earth, when you're not back at work
On the 29th Day of December

Let's all talk about walking, then stay in instead
On the 29th Day of December
There's a pile of books that'll need to get read
On the 29th Day of December
The Freeview box is full of Christmas TV
But let's watch two series of US DVDs
Fetch that whisky gift set that we've not started yet
On the 29th Day of December

Is it me or does the world smell vaguely of beer?
On the 29th Day of December
I'm off back to bed for the rest of the year
On the 29th Day of December
As the frantic festivities come to an end
I can't wait to start planning the whole thing again
The spirit of Christmas is finally here
On the 29th Day of December
On the 29th Day of December


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing